Light Dawns in the Darkness…

THE FOLLOWING WAS POSTED IN 2017 AND RE-POSTED AT THE REQUEST OF A FRIEND

It was a cool September morning this past Friday; the twenty ninth of the month, to be exact… and I was driving to work at 6:50 in the morning and I thought to myself; “When did it get to be so dark out? How did I not see the cloud of darkness coming?"

“Just last week at this exact time it was sunny!”; I reason with myself…pondering a bit more I asked; “Or was it just this past Monday?”

When did it get to be so dark at 6:50 in the morning? How had the summer skies given way to the impending darkness that would be my normality for the next five or six months? 

Gone were the morning drive times filled with sunshine and bright skies.

Gone were the sunny mornings that greeted me and made my drive from my home in St. Paul to my office in Minneapolis.

Really; “When did it get to be so dark out? When did this darkness creep up and slowly descend upon me? How had I not seen it coming?"

Recently, I realized that another cloud of darkness came upon me as well.  At first glance it seemed that it had come with the same sudden and unforeseen entrance as the shifting of the time for sunrise had been this past week.

It came up slowly, almost methodically and even when it was fully encapsulating me I didn’t see at; not at first anyway.

In fact, it wasn’t until my wife Cathy brought it to my attention that I, too, saw that a cloud of darkness had settled over my life and pondered; “When did it get to be so dark out?” When did this darkness creep up and slowly descend upon me? How had I not seen it coming?

But as I have looked back over the previous months I realized that the signs had been there all along; in fact, others also saw them and some had asked Cathy what was going on with me…

I had been persistently sad, anxious, and feeling "empty". I felt hopeless, pessimistic, guilty, worthless, helpless… and times I was irritable.

Some days I had difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. I was restless and instead of working less, I pressed in and doubled up my efforts, and worked more! Even that I was blind to, as most workaholics are…

At a couple of times, I dodged thoughts of suicide; which were easily dismissed as I thought about my family and didn’t want to inflict pain upon them; so I pushed the thoughts away.

At times I had a loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities, including spending time with my wife. I had decreased energy, fatigue, felt slowed down. I struggled with both a low appetite and other times overeating and weight gain.

At times I had insomnia and frequently woke up early in the morning and then couldn’t get back to sleep.

The worst part for me is that nothing seemed to really satisfy my soul; I couldn’t “hear” God speaking to me. I am a follower of Jesus Christ; a Christian. And one of my daily rituals is spending time reading the Bible, and for two solid months the words were dead to me; no revelation or life.

During this time, attending church was merely a religious activity that I did each week as I desperately longed for a real encounter with the living God.

Worship was dry and even the distant memories of times of refreshing added to my sadness as I remembered them and compared them to my present “reality”.

Yes, I was grateful for times spent with my wife and family and friends; but deep in my soul my heart was dying for life!

-

When did it get to be so dark in my life? How had the “sunny days” given way to the impending darkness that would be my normality for the next few months? 

It wasn’t something I planned or wanted (or as I soon discovered) was able to talk myself out of. And because I don’t struggle with depression, I didn’t realize what was happening.

Yes, I have highs and lows, but not depression. In fact, this, to my knowledge, was only the second time in my life that I was in a cloud of darkness called “depression”.

It had enveloped me and became a “second skin” that I was aware of, but not cognitive to the point where I did anything more that try to shake it off. I thought that I was just having a “bad day” …

I was deep in a darkness that had so become my normality, that even the reality of all that was good in my life still didn’t shake my sadness.

Telling myself to work harder and longer didn’t help either because anxiety and depression is just plain rotten and its effects tore apart my very soul! 

As I looked back over several months, I concluded that I had some unresolved pain or trauma or issues that I had not dealt with and my body, soul, mind, and spirit were crying out for me to pay attention; something was wrong!

And I needed to be OK with not being able to pull it all together and charge ahead. I needed to be OK with letting others know that I wasn’t “fine” and that I needed their help.

I will admit that it can seem to be so embarrassing to say “HELP, I NEED CARE!”  But we all do, you know.  Burnout is serious. Depression is serious. Not being able to get free is serious. Being so deep in it that I was blind to the cloud is serious!

It’s hard for me to take off the mask and admit that I am hurting; especially when I wasn’t aware that I had been running on auto pilot and was very low on fuel.

I came to realize that it is God’s desire to point this out to me (and to others who love me and whom He will also use to revive my soul). Restoring me takes first place on His agenda; He really wants me to be whole.  

I needed to be OK with stepping out of the traffic and taking a long, loving look at God and to be still, knowing that He is God (see Psalm 46:10)

I needed God to remind me that I was a part of something bigger than me; I am a member of the Body of Christ. He had others who needed me to get healthy, but not me trying to figure out how to do it or putting on a mask of appearing to be healthy.

I needed to just be who I was at that movement; someone who was hurting and be OK with that. NO MASKS!  Most of all, forgive myself for mistakes of the past.  God has never cut me off from His love.  I needed to take it!  I AM LOVED!

I am happy to write that in time, worship and revelation in His Word returned to me. My heart knows God wants to fill the broken places with His Spirit! Bible reading and church are life giving once again! And songs of worship once again greeted me as I awakened each day new day.

I wish that I could write this today and share with you that everything is OK; but it is not…my metaphorical batteries still need recharging (or replacing) and my fuel tanks are still low.

I am realizing that I still can be set off and become discharged very easily…I still need rest and recuperation throughout my day, evening, and (especially) throughout the night.

But I am aware and I do feel and I am starting to see light breaking into my life replacing the cloud that has been my “reality.

And I need to still be OK with the process of God to bring complete healing to me. But that His job and I need to be good with letting Him do it as He sees fit; after all, it is not only His job; it is all about Him and His namesake.

Dear reader, I am not sure where you are at today or why you chose to read this longer than usual blog. I didn’t write it to draw attention to myself or to come across as one who had any real answers. I simply wrote to make some sense of my life as my distorted mind tries to play games with me.

 

But if you, too, are struggling with depression, I do feel great compassion and concern for you, because you too need rest and recuperation.

Is God’s voice pretty silent right now?  I imagine it is for you (and in some areas, it still is for me). In that place it’s hard to hear encouragement and I understand.

My exhortation is that you simply let God come and rescue you. Let Him take you to where you need to go.

Let God be the One who removes the darkness and brings light back to your shattered world.

Let God bring the healing and relief that you so desperately long for. Hope is not beyond your reach; but let Him do the work.

Your part is to simply cooperate with what He tells you to do; He is asking you to trust Him.

So, let go my soul and trust in Him; the wind and waves still know His Name

If you find yourself today in a similar state of mind and you are trying to push through in your own strength, my exhortation to you is to STOP…and REST!

Jesus longs for you to call out to Him today.

He is waiting for you to respond to His mercy and grace that has already been extended to you through Jesus Christ. And you can; today. And it can make all the difference in the world as you look for hope in your present world. Let Him bring you REST.

Need further help? Someone is waiting to talk with you. Call either: 1-888-NEED HIM or 1-877-2GRAHAM (1-877-247-2426).

"Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous." (Psalm 112:4 ESV)

      Pastor Tommy Oestreich 

© 2017 River of Hope Ministries. All Rights Reserved                                 

Does the Bible say to “Ask Jesus into your heart”?

There are sayings and expressions that people use without even thinking about what they are saying. Expressions such as; “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”, or “I’m starving!”

If we are being honest, no, we are not starving and if we were, eating a horse is not what we are thinking of doing!

For many years, I have heard the expression that people need to “ask Jesus into their hearts”. The same expression is sometimes phrased, "Ask Jesus into your life", or "Invite Jesus into your heart".  

Personally, I can’t find this in the Bible. Instead, I find that the Bible says, "…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” (Acts 16:31)  

Romans 10:8-13 says nothing about 'inviting Jesus into your heart': “But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach): ⁹ that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. ¹¹ For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”^{[c] 12} For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. ¹³ For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

So, where did we get the idea that people need to “ask Jesus into their heart”? I think that the idea comes from several religious tradition, that don’t come from the Bible, handed down through well-meaning teachers. Anglo-American Puritans and evangelicals in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries used the phrase “receive Christ into your heart,” or something like it, with some regularity.

Another one of these religious traditions taught that we have a ‘door to our heart’ that has a latch on the inside but not on the outside.  We are taught that Jesus Christ is knocking on the outside but cannot come in unless we unlatch the lock from the inside of the heart.  The Bible teaches no such thing.   

Where else does this idea come from? It also can be seen in stained glass set beautifully in church buildings. I personally think that some of this comes from people seeing either of the two allegorical paintings of Jesus Christ standing at the door knocking painted by William Holman Hunt or the one painted by Warner Sallman.

What about Revelation 3:20?  ”Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

“Doesn’t that refer to the ‘door of our heart’?” I say, “No”. Take time to read the context of Revelation 3:14-22. The door mentioned is the door of the church of Laodicea; not a reference to the door of the heart or the door of your life or about salvation. It means to dine, that is, take the principal (or evening) meal or fellowship with the Lord.  

Religious songs are another source of this wrong teaching; songs we sing simply because we like them. In other words we have theology totally based on the words of the song even if they are not scriptural.  

One of these songs is called; "Come Into My Heart, Lord Jesus" which says; "Into my heart, into my heart; Come into my heart, Lord Jesus." This song is sung as people are given the opportunity to "Invite Jesus into their hearts".  

Some scriptural references are misinterpreted because of tradition. Some people will quote passages like Ephesians 3:16-19 “ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

But it doesn't say ‘ask Him into your heart’; rather it is says; “that He would dwell in your heart by faith”.

Some will say; “But what about John 14:23; “Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”

It says, “We” will come and make “our” home with him. I would say this is speaking of the triune nature of God and it is the Holy Spirit who dwells in us when we surrender our lives to Jesus.

Referring to Jesus, Colossians 2:9-10 says “For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; ¹⁰ and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power”

When we surrender our lives to Jesus, we are filled with the Holy Spirit; who is fully God as a member of the Trinity and a representative of the Father and the Son.

Acts 2: “And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.”

Acts 4:31 “And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness”

Acts 13:52 “And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit”

Ephesians 5:18 “And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit”

Acts 9:17 “And Ananias went his way and entered the house; and laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Jesus, after He completed His work here on the earth, went to be with the Father.

Romans 8:34 “Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.”

Hebrews 10:11-14 “And every priest stands ministering daily and offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. ¹² But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God, ¹³ from that time waiting till His enemies are made His footstool. ¹⁴ For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.

John 14:12-17 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. ¹³ And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.¹⁵ “If you love Me, keep My commandments. ¹⁶ And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.

John 14:26  “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

John 16:7-15 “Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. ⁸ And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: ⁹ of sin, because they do not believe in Me; ¹⁰ of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; ¹¹ of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. ¹² “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. ¹³ However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. ¹⁵ All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.”

The Bible simply says that we are to believe or trust the gospel message that Jesus paid for our sins by His death on the cross, and that He was buried, and that He was resurrected from the dead.  

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes...” (Romans 1:16a). 

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

We Receive Christ Through Faith
"By grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast" (Ephesians 2:8,9).

Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of the will.

Receiving Christ involves turning our wills and lives to God and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. The Bible calls this "repentance". What that means is to "change the way you think"; in other words, go another direction- with our thoughts, words, actions; with how we live our lives.

God will only give eternal life to:

1.   Those who are sorry for their sins.

2.   Those who are willing to turn away from what the Bible calls sin.

3.   Those who put their complete trust (have faith) in Jesus Christ and what He accomplished through His death, burial, and resurrection.

When We Receive Christ, we will experience a “New Birth”

So, how do you do you receive Christ?

1.   Stop trusting in your own efforts to please God and begin to trust in what Jesus Christ has already done.

2.   Ask God to forgive you for your sins.

3.   Ask Jesus to take His rightful place as Lord and Savior of your life.

4.   Turn away from whatever the Bible says is sin. NOTE: This is only possible after you have made Jesus the Lord of your life.

You can do this right now by praying (speaking to God) in your own words like this:

"LORD JESUS. I WANT TO STOP TRUSTING MYSELF AND WHAT I CAN DO AND START TRUSTING IN YOU AND WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE WHEN YOU DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME. I KNOW THAT I AM A SINNER AND I AM SORRY FOR MY SINS. I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME. AND I INVITE YOU TO COME AND BE THE SAVIOR AND THE LORD OF MY LIFE. BY THAT I MEAN STARTING RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL BE #1 IN MY LIFE. I WANT TO TURN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT YOU AND THE BIBLE CALL SIN. I TOTALLY COMMIT MYSELF TO OBEYING YOU; EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU LORD JESUS"

This new life will continue to grow by:

·        Spending time each day; throughout the day praying and worshipping God.

·        Spending time reading the Bible which is His Word

·        Spending time with other Christians at church, Bible studies, and fellowships.

·        Spending time sharing with others who yet don’t know how they too can get right with God.

"Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved

Don’t Keep Score!

It was Monday morning. And it felt like a “Monday Morning”; the kind that Garfield the cat hated. It was the kind that people dreaded going to work on after a long weekend.

And I was at work…and I wanted to be alone…and he walked into my office and stood there in the doorway and stared at me.

To say that the weekend had been eventful was the understatement of the decade.

Never had my life gone from such success to the exact opposite in such a short amount of time. The drama that took place on Saturday alone had sent terror deep into my soul.

You might be thinking; “Why the overdramatization? Things couldn’t have been that bad!”

They had been bad; in fact, people (literally) died under my watch. And several others went missing and almost died under my watch. And I dreaded facing the music as Monday morning came around.

And I was at work…and I wanted to be alone…and he walked into my office and stood there in the doorway and stared at me.

He was a therapist whose clients in the treatment center where we both worked were under my watch. And I was in charge of over sixty men and twelve staff; and yet felt so far from being a leader as I tried to wrap my head around the events of the weekend…

The men had been out on a biannual pass with their families and almost twelve of them never made it back because of bad choices; or at least not when they were supposed to be back. Some of them came back on time but had broken the rules and were clearly under the influence.

Several of them were missing. Several others had decided not to come back. A few literally died. 

And I was at work…and I wanted to be alone…and he walked into my office and stood there in the doorway and stared at me.

My facility had been rated (by clients and staff) as one of the best in the whole state for satisfaction and retention. Guys liked living there and staff liked working for me.

We were a team who had high success. We were the facility in which clients went out on passes and came back; sober and ready to keep working on their lives.

That is until this past weekend; when everything seemed to hit the fan. On Saturday, I had been at a dinner party, during which I received a total (of no less than) twenty-five phone calls from staff reporting on the drama that was unfolding.

Each and every time the phone rang, I had to excuse myself so that I could take the call in another room. Each and every time the phone rang, several people had to stand up so that I could make my way from the crowded table to take the phone call in private.

Each and every time the phone rang, there was more bad news of another client who had made bad choices and now had either not come back or had come back under the influence and this continued throughout the rest of the sleepless weekend.

And now it was Monday and it was time to face the music.

And I was at work…and I wanted to be alone…and he walked into my office and stood there in the doorway and stared at me and said; “Don’t keep score!”

Realizing that I wasn’t paying attention to his words, he took a few steps closer to my desk and said it again with a stronger tone; “Don’t keep score!”

I continued my work as I gave him a gratuitous nod of my head hoping that he would move on so that I could prepare my reports.

Motivated by my lack of attention he got within a few feet of my person and raised his voice and said; “What about all of those people who came back? I mean it; DON’T KEEP SCORE!”

I looked at him and said that this was different; people left and either came back under the influence or never came back and some had died under my watch.

This was the kind of event that set the clients and staff on edge as they each wondered and started to ask what THEY could have done to have prevented this.

I was looking for answers as I tried to protect my great staff who themselves had fallen on their metaphorical swords and were second guessing their decisions.

Determined to make his point, he continued as he was inches from my face; “You never took credit for their success. You always deflected the compliments and results of the surveys that made your leadership look good; the best in the state.”

“You always shared the reasons for the success of your facility as your team working together and never kept score. Why are you now taking the blame for choices that others made?”

“Don’t take the blame for their bad choices. You have a great team who did their best and still people made wrong choices” he said as he was now inches from my face.

“I mean it; DON’T KEEP SCORE!”

“Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.” (Job 2:10b)

With that, he left my office and I knew he was right. He loved the Lord and his words were the reality check that I needed to help get my bearings back in order to lead the team in making sense of the metaphorical atomic bomb that had been dropped into our lives.

A few minutes later my boss called me to see how I was doing. He too had been a part of the long weekend as some decisions needed to be bounced off of him. I shared the words that the therapist had given to me.

He said that he’s correct, adding that it wasn’t my job to take the blame.

I needed to file reports to give account and make more phone calls to those in the legal community to explain what had happened. That was part of my job. But it wasn’t my job to take the blame.

My job was to rally both the clients and staff to take a breath, look upward, and keep going forward. This would not be the end of the story. God was the One who got to say how it went from here because He was the reason that I had great success.

I called a meeting and spoke life into the clients and staff and took time to take questions in an attempt to stop the mental erosion that others were experiencing as they continued to blame themselves.

“Don’t keep score” I told them as I exhorted them to look upward as we took the next steps to go forward.

Eventually, this event would leave a dent in my armor that proved to be too much and I and a few of my staff made a shift and resigned from our positions. But, the words of that therapist became a battle cry that has been in my heart as new situations have come across my life.

No matter what the situation is, I need to give God the glory and the praise due His Name.

No matter what the situation is, I need to look to the Lord as the One alone who can make sense to the matters that weigh down my heart.

No matter what the situation is, I need to trust the Lord to repair the damage from the metaphorical atomic bomb that has been dropped into my life.

No matter what the situation is, I learned to not keep score.

"and we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Time For a New String Of Lights

There has been a picture in my head; a scene from a movie lately. What I have been seeing is a very large ball of Christmas lights that are all tangled up and need to be unraveled. 

If you have ever seen the movie “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”, then you will know what I am talking about.

Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) wants to have a perfect family Christmas; including the perfect decorations and lights on the outside of his house. 

The plan is to install the 250 strands of lights (with 100 bulbs on each strand for a total of 25,000 light bulbs, enough to make the power company turn on their auxiliary nuclear generator…)

But, before he can install them, he needs to untangle massive balls of lights from the last time they were installed on the house. Clark enlists his son Rusty (Johnny Galecki) to help him in this endeavor.

Clark tells Rusty; “Come on, unravel these. You have to check every bulb”

“There’s a little knot here…you work on that!” he continues as he hands Rusty the world’s largest ball of Christmas lights.

“I’ll get the other box.” Clark says as he makes his way back into the garage to retrieve another set of lights.

That picture, along with a recent message I heard on ‘forgiveness’, has been on my mind.

Why, I ask myself, does Clark even attempt (or have Rusty attempt) to unravel that massive ball of lights? Why not simply throw out the ball and purchase another set of lights?

And it got me thinking; There are times in life when no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot untangle the mess that was created in the past.

Sometimes the best thing to do is simply throw out the old and admit that it is time for a new string of lights and go from there.

I will admit that I have lost countless hours, days, and weeks of my life trying to resolve things only to get further away from the end goal of reconciliation.

I will admit that I am hardwired to check every jot and tittle to make sure that every area and viewpoint has been looked at so that both sides can really know that everything has been discussed.

I will admit that I have done all this in an attempt toward reconciliation and so that it will never happen again.

I will admit that I had to come to the point of realizing that sometimes in forgiveness and relationships there are times when it is almost impossible to untangle the minutia and one simply needs to start over in the relationship.

That sometimes the best thing to do is simply do is throw out the old and admit that it is time for a new string of lights and go from there.

In first Corinthians chapter thirteen verse 4-7, the Apostle Paul wrote:

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

One version of the Bible translates verse five as;

“it keeps no record of wrongs.”

In other words; “Love keeps no record”. That doesn’t mean that we don’t remember, but in order to move on we need to stop trying to go over and over every detail. We need to keep no record.

Jesus expands on the seriousness of not letting go in Matthew chapter six verse 14-15

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

I will let His words speak for themselves and add:

Sometimes it is time for a new string of lights