It was
one of those mornings when I was wondering what my purpose was. I wanted God’s
will for my life. I had spent the morning in an extended time seeking the Lord
and reading, due to an illness that kept me away from church.
My soul
had been seeking direction for the next steps in my life and my heart was being
examined to deal with my sins of commission as well as omission. My spirit felt
washed as I went through waves of responding to what the Holy Spirit was doing
in my life.
Was I
really doing what God had created me to do? Was I spending my days in ways that
honored Him? These were the questions in my mind as I paced the floor in my home
office.
I
thought of a comment that someone recently said to me; he had called me a ‘man
of God’. I may be a minister but I don’t see myself as a man of God.
I am a
child of God and I am a sinner who is saved by His grace… “sola gratia” (through
God’s favor or grace alone) which means that God loves, forgives,
and saves us not because of who we are or what we do, but because of the work of Christ. This is the gospel of Jesus Christ that is received “sola fide”
(through faith alone).
I
continued to read and pray and ponder and let the Holy Spirit continue to bring
up the dross that had been lodged in my heart. I responded to sin that was
brought to my attention by confessing, asking for, and receiving His
forgiveness.
I asked
how I got to place where I was at; physically, emotionally, occupationally, as
well as my state of life.
I
recalled all the dreams and thoughts that I had when I was in Bible School
responding to the call on my life to preach. I recalled when hands were laid
upon me in 1990 to be a deacon in our local church. And then, over the next few
years I was ordained as an elder and then as a pastor.
What
had happened to that passion that I had when I set out to respond to the Lord’s
call?
Again,
I asked how I got to place where I was at; physically, emotionally, occupationally,
as well as my state of life.
Just then, I heard an unusual noise so I searched the room to find out
where it was coming from. I narrowed it
down to the place where I had been literally standing. The noise was coming out
of the place where our boiler tank is located.
I opened the cover to discover that the tank was making noise because
water in the tank was low; almost empty
NOTE: We have an “open” water heater system
and the open tank is located on the third floor of our home; which is the same
location as my office. Each month water is manually added to the tank rather
than automatically as in “closed” water heater system. Without adding water, the
system will not have enough to fill the radiators and heating system will not
heat properly and you get a cold house…so it is very important to keep the
levels checked each month during the heating season
As I
went and got some buckets of water to fill up the tank, I realized that I had
been at the right place that I was supposed to be that day. In fact, I was literally at the exact place because if
I had not been where I was at, then I wouldn’t have heard the noise, etc. etc…
Often, we pray for the Lord’s will in our lives but miss the forest for
the trees. Meaning, we simply can’t believe that His purpose for our lives may
be simpler that we think it is.
We, like His disciples, want to be used by Him and assume what that means;
oftentimes jockeying for positions and titles as we seek His perfect will.
But the fact is, His will is much simpler than we understand even though
He said it in plainly in His Word, the Bible. In John 6 I find at least two
things that are the will of God for your life and mine.
First of all, “This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of
all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last
day.” (John 6:39)
Secondly, “And this is the
will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may
have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.” (John 6:40)
Once
again, I had to admit that I was where I was supposed to be. That He was
working all things together for
good because I did love Him and because I was called according to His purpose,
and that I was predestined to be conformed to His image (See Romans 8:28-29)
according to His purpose.
Once
again, I had to admit and be grateful that He was doing a work to bring revival
in my life and would be faithful to complete that which He started (See
Philippians 1:6 and Jude 1:24).
Once
again, I had to admit that I had been at the right place.
Once
again, I surrendered as clay to the hands of the Potter.