Summer of Love Remix

2018 was dubbed my “Summer of Love”. I attended eleven weddings; nine of which I officiated. On Memorial Day weekend, I attended two wedding (one of which I officiated).

Added to the mix was all of the preparation time, including wedding planning and premarital counseling.

Needless to say, Cathy and I didn’t get up to the family cabin other than the week of July fourth so we did a better job scheduling my weddings for 2019. And, for the most part, we were very successful in not over booking. This included two weddings back to back (Friday and Saturday nights).

This year, 2020, was scripted to also be another summer of love with nine couples asking me to be the pastor for their wedding.

Cathy and I had set up a system that somehow, I had (unintendedly) bypassed. I had two one month (last two weeks) and two the next (first two weeks). I hadn’t noticed my mistake until I was putting them on our joint calendar.

This was helpful as I eventually declined several other couples who asked me to officiate their weddings. I told them that I didn’t want to fill all of my weekends.

We reminded each other of the Lord’s faithfulness in the past, and moved forward as we launched into my Summer of Love 2020.

That is until the corona-covid-19-pandemic-epidemic brought my plans to a screeching HALT! Somebody sneezed and the whole world freaked out.

Suddenly, almost all of my couples went into a tail spin as they were told that they could not have their weddings as planned.

Yes, couples were allowed to get married, as long as the gathering was ten or fewer people instead of the planned 200-300 guests.

Event centers and venues were told that they needed to close up shop in order to slow down this major virus from spreading.

Calls were made. Flight plans canceled. Cakes were put on hold as my spring weddings got moved to either October-November or else to 2021.

Over and over again I listened to couples who were hurt, confused, and frustrated when their plans, many which had been in the works for two years, were no longer an option.

Many felt betrayed when they were told that contractually they were not able to get their money back.

As a pastor (and dad) my heart hurts for them.

Over and over again I listened to vendors and venue owners who were hurt, confused, and frustrated when their plans, many which had been in the works for two years, were no longer an option.

Many felt betrayed when they were pressured by clients who asked for their money back; even though the vendors hadn’t broken the contract and worked hard to come up with other dates for rescheduling the weddings.

The problem was that even when they came up with something new, the government told them that “no” they couldn’t open up their venues or perform a service.

Some things made sense; others were beyond comprehension; all because somebody sneezed and the whole world freaked out.

As a pastor (and vendor) my heart hurts for them.

And, as of this writing, things are still up in the air as to when things can “get back to normal”.

But the truth is, life is unpredictable and the best laid plans of mice and men are just that; PLANS.

I tell every couple at every wedding I officiate that the security of their marriage will rest in the true purposes of their hearts, in their character, in the steadfastness of their devotion to each other, and more importantly the love of God and asking His help.

In other words, the success of their marriages will really be based on how well they choose to face life as they apply what they said at their weddings.

Simply put, how much do they look to the vows that they make and how much do they look to God who created marriage in the first place.

The same is true for each one of us as we go through this corona-covid-19-pandemic-epidemic. Do we really believe that there is Someone who is in control and look to Him, or do we look to our plans as though they are set in concrete?

This Summer of Love may not turn out as I have planned; and that’s OK. Either way, the LORD will be glorified in my life and I will juggle my life to be there for my couples and fellow vendors as together we create stories to tell the grandchildren when this is all over.

Fallacious Fasting

fasting

1. The act or practice of abstaining from or eating very little food.

2. A period of such abstention or self-denial.

3. To eat very little or abstain from certain foods, as a religious discipline.

During this year, Cathy and I have been fasting in a variety of ways.

We are not fasting as a religious or a superstitious exercise; hoping to gain God’s special attention, or to tip the invisible scales of blessing in our direction.

Our goal as a couple (and individually) is to deal with our hearts; which tends to want what it wants. We are longing to have a heart change as we long to be in deeper fellowship with Him.

And fasting things like sugar also has some health benefits such as feeling better and weight loss.

Individually, we have been noticing that when we stop eating something like anything made of sugar or fasting from social media, just how often we go to what we are giving up rather than to Him.

It has been amazing to me how often when my heart is wandering or feeling “blue” that my flesh longs for chocolate; rather than going to the LORD for His help.

It is my observation that too many people fast for wrong reasons. John Wesley said that “some have exalted religious fasting beyond all scripture and reason, and others have utterly disregarded it.”

Fasting is not to be thought of as a means of earning God’s favor or improving one’s status with God. The general purpose of it is to humble the soul before God.

The Bible asks the question in Zechariah 7:5-6 (NKJV):

“Say to all the people of the land, and to the priests: ‘When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months during those seventy years, did you really fast for Me—for Me? When you eat and when you drink, do you not eat and drink for yourselves?

So it is possible to fast and not really be doing it for the LORD.

My favorite (heart exposing) scripture on fasting is from Isaiah 58. The prophet Isaiah (speaking for the LORD) is explaining to the people how their fasting is wrong. They had been fasting with no apparent success in reaching their goals.

Sounds like you and me doesn’t it?

The LORD lovingly rebukes them in an effort to correct their wrong theology and to share His heart on how He wants them to seek His face in a fast.

My prayer is that as you read Isaiah 58 from the Message version of the Bible, your heart will be corrected in areas where (perhaps) you too have been off during your times of fasting.

Remember, the LORD “did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:17 NKJV)

Isaiah 58 

^1-3 “Shout! A full-throated shout!
    Hold nothing back—a trumpet-blast shout!
Tell My people what’s wrong with their lives,
    face my family Jacob with their sins!
They’re busy, busy, busy at worship,
    and love studying all about Me.
To all appearances they’re a nation of right-living people—
    law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask Me, ‘What’s the right thing to do?’
    and love having Me on their side.
But they also complain,
    ‘Why do we fast and You don’t look our way?
    Why do we humble ourselves and You don’t even notice?’

^3-5 “Well, here’s why:

“The bottom line on your ‘fast days’ is profit.
    You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
    You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
    won’t get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I’m after:
    a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
    and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
    a fast day that I, God, would like?

^6-9 “This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
    to break the chains of injustice,
    get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
    free the oppressed,
    cancel debts.
What I’m interested in seeing you do is:
    sharing your food with the hungry,
    inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
    putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
    being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
    and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
    The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

^9-12 “If you get rid of unfair practices,
    quit blaming victims,
    quit gossiping about other people’s sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
    and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
    your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
    I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
    firm muscles, strong bones.
You’ll be like a well-watered garden,
    a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build a new,
    rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You’ll be known as those who can fix anything,
    restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
    make the community livable again.

^13-14 “If you watch your step on the Sabbath
    and don’t use My holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy,
    God’s holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing ‘business as usual,’
    making money, running here and there—
Then you’ll be free to enjoy God!
    Oh, I’ll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I’ll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob.”
    Yes! God says so!

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

New King James Version (NKJV)

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Vulnerable on the Ice

Most people have heard the story of Peter walking on water (Matthew 14:22-34). He made a request to Jesus (who was also walking on the water) to be able to walk on water and Jesus granted his request and told Peter to come to Him. 

Peter walked on the water towards Jesus. That is until Peter looked at the strong winds and the waves and he became terrorized and began to sink. And Jesus reached to Peter and pulled him to safety.

We read the story and are either amazed that Peter was able to do so or we write him off as faithless because he was afraid and sank.

I personally have spent a major portion of my life walking on water; which really isn't that hard considering the fact that it is in a frozen state when I do so...Usually going thirty miles per hour with a piece of 1/4" steel strapped to each foot.

So walking on water (for me) doesn't seem to be that big of a deal...that is until I try to do so when it it ISN'T frozen or else when I don't have skates on. Then, for me, it is very hard to walk on water.

I ran into this recently when I was making my rounds around the local ice rinks picking up hockey pucks. I hit a patch of ice (on the ice) and my feet almost slipped from beneath me. Almost; but I didn't...and I was able to stabilize myself and not fall down.

I voiced a "thanks" to the LORD for His intervention as I continued my journey around the rink and then made my way home. 

When I arrived home and stepped out of my vehicle, I hit a very small patch of ice in my driveway and went from standing upright to a horizontal position of the ground in a millisecond; tearing my jeans as I cut my knee on the frozen ground.

I voiced a "thanks" to the LORD for His intervention as I brushed myself off and went into the house to attend to my knee that was now bleeding. 

As I was taping a gauze pad to my knee, I pondered how I was unable to do the simple task of walking on a tiny piece of ice; after all I do it several times a week on rinks that are about 1,400 square feet. The piece of ice that I slipped on was only about one square foot!

Had I, like Peter, taken my eyes off the LORD; troubled by my surroundings? 

No, I was simply missing a key component necessary for me to walk on water; my ice skates. 

And yet, like Peter, I realized that even with skates I still need the LORD to do what I do. My ability to walk on water was predicated by my ice skates.

That slip on the ice in my driveway was a wake-up call to me how complacent I can get as I look to myself to do what I do.

Symbolically, the ice skates represents the gifts, abilities, and anointing that comes from the LORD that enables me to do what I need to do. I realized (as I was bandaging my wound) just how vulnerable I am in this life; how dependent I am upon the LORD. 

There is no way that I can walk through the slipperiness of this world on my own efforts or strength. And just like walking on ice, it doesn't matter how often or many times that I have done something...Simply put, I NEED HIM FOR EVERYTHING THAT I DO!

So I pondered...how many times have I tried to do things in my own strength and abilities as I lean on my past experiences? 

How many times have I ignored the near slips or the actual slips as opportunities for me to hear the LORD calling out to me to look to Him instead of myself?

Bottom line: we ALL need Jesus.

One of the problems with having successes is that we have the illusion that we can do this on our own, and so we slowly drift away from Him.

But when we slip and fall day after day after day trying to do things in our own strength; that is when we become more aware of how much we need Jesus.

The Good News is that when we turn and call out to Jesus, He IMMEDIATELY welcomes us with open arms

Oh Jesus; help me to see You and to keep my eyes upon You lest I continue to slip and fall or sink...

Keep your stick on the ice; I'm pulling for you!

Like Father Like Son

I sat on my front porch watching a lonely figure walking the sidewalk like a night guard keeping watch over the city; barely visible except for the occasional glow of his cigarette and his dog who was leading the way. His appearance was a ghostly reminder of one who had long passed away.

For many years this was the nightly scene of a man and his dog; each going outside to do one more thing before turning in for the night. Each night the two of them would patrol the neighborhood as the non-insomniacs slept.

But both the man and dog had long passed away several decades before; so how was it that I was still seeing them? Were they ghosts aimlessly walking eternity in my neighborhood?

No, this was the son of the man long gone, who now lived in his father’s house. 

This man was the second generation who would perform this nightly habit of walking a dog while smoking one last cigarette for the day, for he had learned this ritual while his dad was alive.

This was the result of a boy watching his father showing him (intentionally or unintentionally) how to go through daily life.

As I sat and watched him, I realized that as a dad (and grandfather) I have passed on systems and patterns and habits that may affect generations; some good, some not so good.

I thought of another father who had influenced his son to follow in his footsteps.

"Good Good Father" is a song heard in churches and on radios around the world. It was written by Pat Barrett, lead singer of the Atlanta-based band, Housefires, along with Anthony Brown. The song was brought into the spot light when it was recorded by Chris Tomlin.

Pat wrote the song to introduce his own daughter to the Heavenly Father who so transformed his life. It was Pat’s attempt to explain to his children who God is; to tell them what He is like.

I first met Pat when he was very young along with his sister, his mother Daryl, and his father Marty at a pastor’s conference.

As I thought of the song, I realized that Pat wrote this song influenced by his own experience with his father Marty.

I really connected with Marty when first we met sometime around 1996. He is a very funny man who lights up a room with his presence. When he is around, very few people can escape his outreaching personality.

Marty is a man with a theater and arts background who had responded to a call into ministry and serves as a pastor in Atlanta, Georgia. Marty is a man full of compassion and mercy and reaches out to the marginal people of our society.

His church is a melting pot of denominations and races who gather each week to discover who God is in a city still tainted with prejudice and racism.

It is a multi-cultural, living bridge connecting God, the world, and the various parts of the Body of Christ. Healing ministries, the arts, outreach to the city are just a few of the ways they spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a broken world; specifically, in DeKalb county Georgia where nations live, highways converge, and God invites all to His table.

Marty is a model of love to his world and in his home. And Pat grew up observing this love and he could write and sing about a “good, good father” because he knew both the love of an earthly and a heavenly father.

So, dads, what are your sons learning from you? Years after you are gone, what will be the habits and belief systems passed on to your sons? What will be the songs that they are singing that they will pass on their children?

The answer will be loosely based upon not how perfect you are or have been, but rather on who is influencing you. Do you know the love of this Heavenly Father? Has He left His mark on your life?

He is a Good, Good Father; it’s who He is. He is perfect in all His ways. And you are loved by Him

 “The return to the "Father from whom all fatherhood takes its name" allows me to let my dad be no less than the good, loving, but limited human being he is, and to let my heavenly Father be the God whose unlimited, unconditional love melts away all resentments and anger and makes me free to love beyond the need to please or find approval.” 

― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming

Everyone Wants To Be A Referee

It was a nice birthday gift from Cathy; dinner and two tickets to a Minnesota Wild game. After all these years she still knows how to give a great birthday present. And, apparently, she assumed that I would take her to the game; which of course I did.

My pre-game ritual for hockey games (actually any sporting event) is to arrive early for two reasons. The first is to get the best parking; which for Wild Games is in a secret spot that you will only know if you have an extra ticket and invite me to go with you; hint, hint, hint…

The second reason that I like to arrive early is so that I can get the best seat; which never makes sense to anyone else because the tickets are usually assigned seating! Perhaps it is a desire to once again connect somehow with one of my passions as a rink rat and catch a fresh whiff of the ice.  

We arrived early at Tommy Reid’s in St. Paul (aka: “Tom Reid's Hockey City Pub”) knowing that the place gets crowded on game night as hockey players and fans of all background, love to eat there prior to and after hockey games.

We ate our meal and then made the long (or short) walk to the Excel Energy Center (or the “X”) from my secret parking spot and arrived about one hour before they dropped the biscuit at center ice. 

At the X we allowed the staff to scan our tickets, search our pockets, and then put the additional time that we had to good use and walked off our meal by taking laps around the arena.

Finally, we made our way to our seats (she did a great job; they were really good) and made instant life-long-best-friends with all of our new neighbors for the game and settled in for what would be a slaughter of the opposing team as the Minnesota Wild easily defeated the LA Kings by a score of six to three. 

Or I should say “life-long-best-friends” with almost every new neighbor…

Behind us sat “him”; I know you know who he is because every sports fan has met “him”, because he is at every game no matter what the sport is! He is the expert to the game.

And usually, when he is at hockey games, he believes that he has been hand selected by NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to be the Gary’s personal eyes in the stands to shout out when the officials get the calls all wrong.

In fact, during the game he is oftentimes yelling at the linesmen instead of the ref, believing in his drunken state of mind, that linesmen call penalties when normally, penalty calls are made by the referees.

FYI: Linesmen are usually left to handle icing and offside violations. Yes, under certain circumstances and the more egregious violations, linesmen can call penalties. But, it’s really the referees’ job to handle nearly all of the calls made.

He is the same guy who shaves his lip sweater in November! (Lip Sweater (noun): mustache, typically grown out during the month of November for the “Movember” cause to support male health issues.)

He is the same guy who thinks that a “Hat Trick” always means that a player has scored three goals in a single game. Normally this is true, that is, unless you’re talking about a “Gordie Howe Hat Trick”! (When a player scores a goal, records an assist, and gets into a fight in a single game.)

And, yes, he was at the X sitting two rows behind us, shouting the whole game at the officials, wondering if they had ever read or knew what the rule book was. 

“Come on Chip! Are you blind!” he kept shouting, and then shouted out how the official had blown the call. I love this guy’s ability to open his mouth and speak of things beyond his understanding and not admit that he is wrong even after the replay is shown on the screen.

Eventually I turned around to put a face on this man of vast knowledge and yes, he was over-weight and probably never stepped foot on the ice; nor actually ever refereed a NHL game! 

As I thought about this man, I thought about how often I (and probably even you) want to be a referee. No, I don’t mean ref a hockey game: been there, done it, and grateful that I never chose it as a career!

What I am talking about is our desire to be in control, to call the shots, to decide right and wrong, and to explain everything. I’m right, am I not?

In the Bible in the book of Job we read about a man who lost it all and got it all back again. In the process he discovered that his friends, although they meant well, really weren’t qualified to be “referees” in Job’s situation. They were sure that God had missed some penalties that should have been called. 

But they only thought they knew what was going on. They had no replay monitors to watch. They had no rule book to follow. They were like the man in the stand opening their mouths with no qualification to do so.

Even when Job tried to be his own referee, he was shown to be wrong. He had no idea that everything that was happening to him was allowed by the Lord to show how great Job and the Lord are.

In the end, prior to getting everything back twice what he had before, Job says to God; “Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”

In fact Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.

My point? We are not called to be referees in this world. Just because we think we are so sure what is happening in our world and how the game should be called, we are not God; nor will we ever be.

He alone is qualified to make the calls as He sees them. It is His world, not ours; we belong to Him.

Our response is simply to trust Him, sit back, and enjoy the game.

 

“Keep your stick on the ice; I’m pulling for you!” -Red Green