Hey; I Need A Hug!

This past week the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) strongly recommended that people stay at least six feet away from each other in public because of the Coronavirus COVID-19. Because there is little to no pre-existing immunity against the new virus, it spreads worldwide.

Their basic instruction was to stay home, avoid physical contact, and don’t gather in large crowds. Introverts have been preparing for this moment their entire lives!

In other words; DON’T HUG IN PUBLIC; ESPECIALLY WITH STRANGERS!

All across the USA pandemonium broke out. Churches canceled services and closed their doors. Schools canceled classes. Businesses encouraged those who could to work from home.

The NCAA basketball men and women’s tournaments were canceled. The NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. MLB suspended spring training and delayed opening games by at least two weeks. The PGA postponed the Masters.

Wedding venues have been reduced to fifty guests in attendance. Even restaurants, banks, and stores have temporarily closed their doors.

Worst of all, my hockey games were canceled; along with a hockey tournament that I was invited to play in Nashville in April. It’s the end of the world as we know it!

I’m not sure if the IRS still wants our taxes or not but President Donald Trump has instructed the Treasury Department and IRS to extend the April 15, 2020 deadline for filing federal income tax returns for those affected by Coronavirus. 

 

In stores empty shelves could be seen as people purchased EVERY bottle of hand-sanitizer and EVERY bottle of water and EVERY roll of toilet paper.

Although we don’t use hand sanitizer, the first two seem (somewhat) logical. The extreme amount of toilet paper that individuals purchased makes no sense at all. Don’t they realize that they can purchase online if this really is the zombie-apocalypse???

Cathy and I were happy that we had extra napkins in our vehicles, thus saving us an unnecessary trip to the madness.

This past week I also spoke at a chapel service at the Rochester Campus of Minnesota Adult and Teen Challenge (MnTC) -a Christian based rehab and recovery center.

I love not only preaching, but also hearing the stories of the lives of the men and women who have gone through or are currently in the program.

Another reason I like to visit the various campuses of MnTC is because they like to give hugs.

I didn’t always like hugs. In the days of my youth I had learned to distance myself from people by only shaking hands. This was my not so subtle attempt to not get hurt in life. If you don’t get too close then no one can hurt you; right?

My exception was with girls; but that always had an ulterior motive. A hug is supposed to be a way of giving and receiving human contact in this otherwise detached and sequestered world.

When I was young, to my best recollection, my family weren’t huggers. Perhaps that is where I learned to practice my physical stoicism.

I should note that my family are huggers now. One of the joys that I have is the gift of touch that my parents give me whenever we meet. We hug each other when we arrive and when we leave.

My wife Cathy’s family are all huggers. Yes, ALL of them. It didn’t matter whether I was coming or going; they wanted to hug me.

When I first started dating Cathy, this threw me off. They, somehow, thought it was OK to hug me rather than the traditional handshake as they tried to break through my force-shield.

In time, I had built my reputation as one who was OK with just a handshake. And then, I let my guard down and started letting people get closer to me.

The process started when a friend of mine who was my pastor challenged me to start letting others in. He commented that he thought that I was one of the most transparent people he knew. He observed how I was willing to share my life openly.

But, in time, he discovered that what others saw as openness was actually a glass fortress around my life that only a few people had a key to get into. He asked me for a key.  I think it threw him off a bit when (a few years later) I came up to him and gave him a hug.

The process continued when one of my employees at MnTC told me that he was doing an intervention. He said that he was starting a “twelve-step” hug program for me.

He explained that he had told the clients and my staff that I had to give and receive least one hug a day as I progressively continued until I was receiving at least twelve hugs a day; then I could graduate from his program.

He implemented the program right after I had shoulder surgery; making it difficult to run away.

Four years later when I resigned from my position, I was “forced” to stand at a narrow doorway (five feet wide) as approximately sixty clients and a dozen staff one-by-one gave me a hug. Cathy stood by watching me seeing the success of the “twelve-step” hug program.

Fast forward to this week. When the CDC said “no hugs” and “stay six-feet away”, my heart sank. I had finally gotten used to the idea of giving and receiving hugs and now someone (in an attempt to save my life) tells me that this is not acceptable?

HEY, I NEED A HUG! I’ve lived way too many years of my life surviving on a handshake or a head nod as a form of human contact.

My attempt to stay safe and unhurt sent the wrong message to those who attempted to show affection to me. I came to understand that people didn’t understand that I was just trying to get through life unscathed. They took it as a form of rejection of them.

After going through the “twelve-step” hug program, my life is richer and people appreciate my receptivity to their attempt to show affection to me.

Jesus said that in the last days the love of many will grow cold (Matthew 24). And although I have no desire to spread COVID-19, I would rather continue to give and receive hugs and get COVID-19 (by hugging) …

…than go through life as I once lived; a hug-less, stoic and isolated person in this world in which we were made to give and receive love.

With all due respect to the CDC, when you see me, it’s OK to give me a hug.  HEY, I NEED A HUG!

If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction, MnTC is here to help. Freedom from addiction starts here. Call 612-FREEDOM today.

For over 30 years MnTC has been restoring hope to people struggling with drug, alcohol, and other life-controlling addictions by addressing their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. 

The mission of MnTC is to assist teens and adults in gaining freedom from chemical addictions and other life controlling problems by addressing their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.

They offer effective and affordable programs throughout Minnesota with campuses in Minneapolis, Brainerd, Duluth, Rochester and Buffalo. MnTC offers both a long-term, faith-based recovery program and short-term licensed treatment program, allowing us to effectively serve individuals with a broad spectrum of addiction issues; from those seeking treatment for the first time, to those who have been struggling with addiction for many years.

Welcome To The Roaring Twenties

Happy New Year 2020

1919 brings this decade to an end and begins the new decade which some people are already calling “The Roaring Twenties”. For some it is a season filled with optimism that American can once again be great.

The reference is to the 1920s; which was an age of very dramatic social and political change. For the first time, more Americans lived in cities rather than on farms.

Over nine years (1920 -1929), the nation's total wealth more than doubled as an economic growth was sweeping many Americans into an affluent consumer society as the country marched forward on its path to becoming a superpower.

During this era, women (finally) were granted the right to vote. It was also the start of prohibition.

As great as this new era was, it didn’t stay on the path to greatness. In fact, many question if the greatness of the roaring twenties was ill recorded.

Prohibition, which was supposed to get Americans sober and living healthy lives, actually helped cause more illegal activities as consumers looked for new ways to purchase and consume alcohol; resulting in more murders and stronger organized crime.

Lawlessness and corruption affected all aspects of our society and our judicial system as illegal activities and no respect for our laws seemed to be out of control.

By the end of the decade, the market crashed and America went into what has been called; “The Great Depression” …a great economic disaster. When the decade was over, the Roaring Twenties were replaced by the Terrible Thirties.

So here we are on the threshold of another decade. What we do with it has yet to be recorded.

George Santayana said; 'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'

So, what do we do? What do you personally want to see happen next year?

It’s good to think decades because “whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7), but START by asking God to plant hopes and dreams for next year in your heart.

What do you hope God does in and through you?

What works has He prepared for you to do?

How can you make a difference in those who cross my path TODAY?

Where can you use your gifts and talents to change the atmosphere?

Secondly, realize that you can’t change the world by yourself. Work with God and let Him take you through the process; you will find that the results will be eternal. And embrace who you are! You will never be as good a version of someone else as you are of yourself!

To do this you will need to stop relating to the Heavenly Father by what you do or don’t do: “You don’t read the Bible enough, pray enough, witness enough, etc.” Stop living under condemnation and guilt and instead let Jesus take you to meet His dad. He loves you and you are precious to Him;

He calls you “beloved”. He acted first, while you were still a sinner (read Romans 5:8)

Let God do the work; your part is to agree with His assessment of sin (confess) and turn from it (repent). The Holy Spirit was given as a “helper”. He is God and wants to help you. The Holy Spirit wants to blast down those walls that you have placed up that stop intimacy with the Father; to restore a level of trust that was violated when you were young, and you survived by not trusting any more.

Today can be a day of excitement as you enter into the roaring twenties anticipating what God is up to. Get excited for what is ahead, knowing that something has to change.

Today can be a day of new beginnings; a day to finally hear the Father calling you “son” or “daughter”. Hear my plea to not “stop short”

Need some help? Call Toll-Free: 1-877-2GRAHAM (1-877-247-2426)

God Has a Big But-reissued

Throughout the Bible there is story after story of people facing insurmountable circumstances for which there appeared to be no way out and no possible way for a victory. 

And yet, if you read the end of each one of the stories, God gives victory to those who walk in His ways. 

What I noticed was a common theme throughout these stories’ that they had people who had their backs against the wall and a testimony of how they were victorious. 

Right in the middle of each one of the stories is a key phrase that made all the difference in the world. It is a phrase that causes the reader to stop, and go another direction.

Simply put the phrase is “But God….”

You can also read interruptions to the stories in the Bible that goes something like; “nevertheless God”, and “however God”, and “moreover God”

My friend I am writing this to you today to let you know that no matter what circumstance you are facing, you need to know that where you are currently at is not the end of the story because God has a big ‘but’.

The following are verses from the Bible to get you starting to know that God has a big ‘but’. 

 “BUT GOD”

“But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the cattle that were with him in the ark; and God caused a wind to pass over the earth, and the water subsided.” (Genesis 8:1)

“But God said, “No, but Sarah your wife will bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.” (Genesis 17:19)

 

“But God said to Abraham, “Do not be distressed because of the lad and your maid; whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her, for through Isaac your descendants shall be named.” (Genesis 21:12)

“Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt.” (Genesis 45:8)

“Then Israel said to Joseph, “Behold, I am about to die, but God will be with you, and bring you back to the land of your fathers.” (Genesis 48:21)

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” (Genesis 50:20

“Joseph said to his brothers, “ I am about to die, but God will surely take care of you and bring you up from this land to the land which He promised on oath to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob.” (Genesis 50:24)

“But God split the hollow place that is in Lehi so that water came out of it. When he drank, his strength returned and he revived. Therefore he named it En-hakkore, which is in Lehi to this day.” (Judges 15:19)

“David stayed in the wilderness in the strongholds, and remained in the hill country in the wilderness of Ziph. And Saul sought him every day, but Goddid not deliver him into his hand.” (1 Samuel 23:14)

“But God will redeem my soul from the power of Sheol, For He will receive me. Selah.” (Psalm 49:15)

“But God will shoot at them with an arrow; Suddenly they will be wounded.”(Psalm 64:7)

“My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”(Psalm 73:26)

“But God is the Judge; He puts down one and exalts another.” (Psalm 75:7)

“But God appointed a worm when dawn came the next day and it attacked the plant and it withered.” (Jonah 4:7)

“But God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.” (Acts 2:24)

“But God spoke to this effect, that his DESCENDANTS WOULD BE ALIENS IN A FOREIGN LAND, AND THAT THEY WOULD BE ENSLAVED AND MISTREATED FOR FOUR HUNDRED YEARS.” (Acts 7:6)

“But God turned away and delivered them up to serve the host of heaven; as it is written in the book of the prophets, ‘ IT WAS NOT TO ME THAT YOU OFFERED VICTIMS AND SACRIFICES FORTY YEARS IN THE WILDERNESS, WAS IT, O HOUSE OF ISRAEL?” (Acts 7:42)

“But God raised Him from the dead;” (Acts 13:30)

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,” (1 Corinthians 1:27)

“For if the inheritance is based on law, it is no longer based on a promise;but God has granted it to Abraham by means of a promise.” (Galatians 3:18)

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,” (Ephesians 2:4)

“For indeed he was sick to the point of death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, so that I would not have sorrow upon sorrow.” (Philippians 2:27)

 “NEVERTHELESS GOD”

“Nevertheless, the LORD your God was not willing to listen to Balaam, butthe LORD your God turned the curse into a blessing for you because the LORD your God loves you.” (Deuteronomy 23:5)

 “Nevertheless, in Your great compassion You did not make an end of them or forsake them, For You are a gracious and compassionateGod.” (Nehemiah 9:31)

“Nevertheless, the firm foundation of Godstands, having this seal, “ The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “ Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness.”(2 Timothy 2:19)

“HOWEVER GOD”

“Yet your father has cheated me and changed my wages ten times;however, God did not allow him to hurt me.” (Genesis 31:7)

“because they did not meet the sons of Israel with bread and water, but hired Balaam against them to curse them. However, our God turned the curse into a blessing.” (Nehemiah 13:2)

“However, there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and He has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will take place in the latter days. This was your dream and the visions in your mind while on your bed.”(Daniel 2:28)

“MOREOVER GOD”

“Moreover, the LORD your God will send the hornet against them, until those who are left and hide themselves from you perish.” (Deuteronomy 7:20)

 “Moreover the LORD your Godwill circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:6)

 “Moreover, I will deliver the Egyptians into the hand of a cruel master, And a mighty king will rule over them,” declares the Lord GOD of hosts.” (Isaiah 19:4)

© 2013 River of Hope Ministries. All Rights Reserved   ALL SCRIPTURE IS NASB  

Flying Solo

It was July 2001 and a friend of mine, Brad, called to ask me what I was doing the next day and to see if I wanted to go for a ride in his plane with him to Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

He said that he had to get some flight hours in and that we would stop at an airport in to eat some lunch before flying back home.

I had some time on my hands so I said; “Yes”.

We met at a hanger in Lake Elmo, Minnesota where Brad stored his airplane. After filing his flight plan, he filled his plane tank with fuel and performed a pre-flight check. Once it was completed, we got into the plane and buckled our seat belts.

The plane was only a two-seater, about the size of a Ford Maverick; especially since each side had a small window that could open. The rest of the windows offered a good view.

Brad spoke with the tower and we were given permission to approach the runway and to take off.

The flight was relatively smooth as we followed Interstate 94 East. To liven things up, Brad asked me if I would like him to do a “barrel-roll”; which I declined. Instead he tipped the wings and flew at a forty-five-degree angle so I could get a better view.

I requested that he fly horizontally instead; to which he obliged and continued the ninety-minute flight to our destination.

The sky was clear and the companionship was great as Brad spent time explaining the instruments and what he was doing. Soon we arrived and he landed safely and drove the plane to a place as directed by the tower.

We found a place at the airport that served lunch and sat back and ate a meal together.

After a while, we both mentioned that we should probably head back to Minnesota and made our way back to the plane and departed for home.

Part way through the flight, Brad asked me if I wanted to fly the plane. This plane had two sets of pedals and two steering wheels which made it easy for either of us to fly the plane at any time.

He knew that I had flown simulators before and said that all I would have to do is follow Interstate 94 West.

I should clarify that even though the simulators are professional-grade and are the exact same ones that commercial pilots use for training and recurrent training on; I had never successfully landed a plane before.

In fact, I had crashed every time that I tried to land.

But, to my defense, I should add that I have never taken flying lessons; I was simply able to use the simulators (under the watchful eyes of the person who ran them) when I was working as a subcontractor at the Delta training center in Minneapolis.

Brad asked me again and instructed me what to do. I grabbed the wheel in front of me and pressed into the opportunity. Brad, seeing that I had taken the wheel let go of his side and sat back in his seat.

Instantly my core-temperature went up and my hands became sweaty as I held tightly onto the steering wheel as though it took all I had to steer it.

Brad told me to not hang on so tightly, suggesting that I only needed to steer the wheel with one or two fingers; “kind of like how you drive a car”. He added; “Let the plane do its job. It was made to fly.”

How is this like a car? Didn’t he catch that I had crashed every time that I tried to land a commercial plane simulator?

Brad saw that I was too tense so he folded his arms and said that he wasn’t going to grab the wheel to bail me out. He said that I needed to calm myself and learn to relax if I was going to fly solo.

So, I worked hard to relax my grip and flew using only nine of my fingers as I tried to once again enjoy the plane ride.

Just when I would be feeling comfortable with letting the plane fly with minimal assistance from me, a gust of wind would come up and shake the plane from side to side.

And, once again, I would grip the wheel tightly for my solo flight.

And once again Brad would fold his arms and said that he wasn’t going to grab the wheel to bail me out as he reminded me that I needed to calm myself and learn to relax.

Needless to say, the longer I flew, the more I did become relaxed and once again started enjoying the ride.

As I flew, I flashed back to how I did the same thing when I was learning to drive the car and even then, held on too tightly to the steering wheel. In time I learned to drive the car using only my knees; and this was before we had cell phones to distract us!

As we crossed the Minnesota border, Brad said that he would take over once again so that he could get ready for making the landing. I let go of the steering wheel and noticed that I had completely reshaped the steering wheel when I squeezed it too tightly. Ok, that part I made up.

As we were about the land, Brad looked at me and said; “Hey, I would have taken over the controls if you had gotten into trouble. There is no way that I would have let you crash the plane with me in it!”

As I reflect, I wonder why I had tensed up; especially since Brad was with me the whole time. Why had I acted as though I was flying solo and all alone?

Was it a lack of trust or had my eyes been so focused on myself that I forgot that I had an experienced and seasoned pilot with me who wasn’t going to let me fail?

He was simply trying to let me learn to fly under his watchful eye and protection and would take control should I get into trouble.

And then I thought about my God. 

Many times, I felt as though I was flying solo as He allowed me to step out and go through situations. Many times, I felt abandoned by Him as though He simply had His arms folded and I was on my own.

Was it a lack of trust or had my eyes been so focused on myself that I forgot that I had an experienced and seasoned pilot with me who wasn’t going to let me fail?

He was simply trying to let me learn to fly under His watchful eye and protection and would take control should I get into trouble.

He would never leave me nor forsake me.

Isaiah 41:10

“fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.