I’m Getting Married In The Morning

I LOVE officiating weddings! I personally feel honored to be a part of their special day!

Recently, my 2019 Wedding Season came to an end.

And can I just state for the record how privileged I am to work with such great people and to be invited to join them as they tell the world of their love for each other and state their vows.

Yes, there is a lot of time that goes into getting a couple ready, preparing messages, rehearsal dinners, and trips to mail the paperwork to make things official… But still; what a privilege. I love my job!

Almost all of the weddings that I officiated this year went off without a hitch.

I say that because in May of 2019, I officiated a wedding that I hadn’t planned on officiating. In fact, it wasn’t on my calendar; nor was it even in my schedule for that Saturday in May.

I had two appointments scheduled with couples for whom I was going to officiate later in the summer of 2019. But in between my two appointments, I received a frantic call from a friend who, although he is licensed to marry, had neglected to register his credentials with the State of Minnesota.

He discovered this about two hours before the wedding!

So, he called me to see if I could come down to the wedding and tag team with him and say the pronouncement and then sign and file the legal documents.

I asked him how well he knew the couple since I don’t do weddings by the seat of my pants as he was suggesting.

 

He told me that had worked for at least six months with the couple (planning and premarital counselling) and that he was related to the groom.

I told him that although I would like to help out, I was busy; but I was willing to call the couple who would be coming over in an hour to see if they would be willing to reschedule. I told him that I would have to get back to him.

This did little to calm him down.

I made a quick phone call and the couple that I was scheduled to meet with was very willing to reschedule and meet with me the next day.

I called my friend back and discovered that the wedding was only eight miles from my house. I decided to bail him out so as to not cause any (more) anxiety for the awaiting couple to whom he had told of his dilemma. I told him that I would need to put on a suit and would be at the venue in about thirty minutes.

I called Cathy to let her know of my change of plans since I wouldn’t be home when she came back for her errands. I changed my clothing and headed out to join my friend at the wedding.

When I arrived, the bride came over to me and sternly asked who I was and what was I doing at her wedding…I said to her that I was the pastor who was going to make this day official. She changed her demeanor and welcomed me with open arms.

We preceded to start the wedding.

I stood next to my friend as he gave a message and walked the couple through the vows, rings, etc. The two candles kept blowing out before the couple could light the unity candle.

The best man used a lighter to keep relighting the two candles. When the groom asked me if this was a bad sign, his bride let him know that this was not the time or the place to ask such questions.

After my friend’s portion was completed, I did the pronouncement and signed the paperwork. The couple thanked me for helping them out. Prior to leaving, my friend also gave me a hug for coming through. And even though it wasn’t on my schedule, it was a nice way to spend a sunny afternoon.

That was the start of wedding season. I’m glad that was not a sign of things to come…

And now that my 2019 wedding season is over, and as I slowly start the process of meeting with the couples for 2020, I pause to tell you a joke.

``A man walking on the beach found a bottle, uncorked it and a genie appeared. The genie declared: `I will grant you one wish. What do you desire?'

``The man thought for a while and answered: `I have always had a fear of boats and planes, and so my travels have been limited. One place I would really like to see before I die is Hawaii. Please build me a bridge from this beach to Hawaii.'

`The genie considered the man's request, but then shook his head and replied: `Do you know what you're asking? Do you know how many hundreds of miles it is from here to Hawaii?

Think of the thousands of men that would be needed.

Think of the number of pilings it would require.

Think of the constant adjustments that would have to be made for the staggered depth of the ocean.

No, no, I'm sorry, but that is a wish that I simply cannot grant.'

``The man sighed with disappointment, thought for another moment, and said: `OK. Well then, just explain women to me.'

``The genie pulled out pencil and paper and asked: `Will that be two lanes or four?' ''

Happy trails my friend – Pastor Tommy O

“There are three things that amaze me—

No, four things that I don’t understand:How an eagle glides through the sky,How a snake slithers on a rock,How a ship navigates the ocean,How a man loves a woman.” (Proverbs 30:18-19)

Two Weddings, a Memorial Service, and a Tornado

Well, it wasn't a quiet week here in St. Paul, Minnesota, my hometown, out on the cliffs of the Mississippi. 

Cathy and I had settled ourselves on the love-seat in our family room to veg out watching TV when the call came un-expectantly in the form of a text message: a friend of the family had died and with it came the notification of a pending memorial service.

It was already scheduled to be a busy week after we came back from a min-vacation on the Northern Shores of Minnesota. The week included a fishing tournament with fellow pastors and ministry leaders, and a wedding rehearsal and officiating the wedding ceremony. 

Prior to our trip up north, we had spent three weekends up at the family cabin cleaning up debris left in the wake of a tornado; something that defiantly wasn't on our schedules!

I also had several other opportunities to fill my calendar which (for sanity) I turned down including a trip to Sturgis, South Dakota and a trip to California to go fishing in LA and then play hockey in San Francisco.

I decided that living out of a suitcase for that many weeks on the road would put too much stress in my life that would leave me (potentially) weary by the time I came to the wedding. This would prove to be wisdom from above.

I should note that this week I have another wedding rehearsal and am officiating another wedding ceremony....And then four more weddings after that.

Then as my schedule seemed FULL, my physical health was stressed in the form of a head or sinus cold; which arrived full-forced just in time for the day of the wedding.

With the cold came headaches, blurred vision, congestion, sinus pressure, flem, mucus, coughing, hacking up a lung or two, and a raspy voice; which was eventually lost. 

I should note that on a good day I have some memory issues due to taking too many knocks on the old noggin. With a head cold I am (without the Lord's help) clueless at best. So to say that I was in trouble was amplified by a night of no sleep.

I am not writing to solicit sympathy or empathy from readers who "have been there", but simply to say as much as we can possibly plan our schedules we are still vulnerable to things that come at inopportune times like death and tornadoes.

With all of the modern apps and the multitude of ways that we use for our calendars to schedule our lives, we are still unable to script our own lives.

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” (James 4:13-16)

And that includes other things that come up such a dinner invitation or a request to come outside to look at a sunrise, sunset, rainbow, or a flower. It includes spontaneous opportunities for free tickets to an event or to help pack food at "Feed My Starving Children"; simply because they need extra hands.

My point is that with life comes opportunities. How we choose to embrace them makes all the difference if we are to become better or bitter; it’s really our choice. We can either get through our busy schedules or we can slow down and smell the flowers. 

I am happy to report that the Lord came through and the wedding ceremony went off without any other surprises and then, the following day was the Memorial service where we gathered to honor the person whose life touched so many. Thank God for His faithfulness. 

I look forward to what comes next between this moment and this week's wedding. My prayer is that each of us will be open to the gift of each opportunity that comes our way; KNOWING that ultimately the LORD is in charge.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” (Psalm 37:23)

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

That's the news from St. Paul, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

This is my heart cry to the LORD today...

Come as close as You want

Consume this heart that longs to burn

I know Your fire can hurt
But I would be worse here without You

For I was made to dwell with You
And how I ache until I do

Holy God, Take my heart
Purge with flame and truth
A holy heart is all I want
That I may live with You

Come and take all these chains
That get in the way of what You want
And as I stand in the flame
Still I will say, “I trust You God”

For I was made to dwell with You
And how I ache until I do

Holy God, Take my heart
Purge with flame and truth
A holy heart is all I want
That I may live with You

"Come as Close As You Want" By Misty Edwards from the Album “Fling Wide”

When Was the last Time You Fainted Going to Church?

It was September 1990 something and the Sunday Morning Service was about to start. And then they came in. 

They arrived after the service started and all eyes were focused on them as they made a bit of a ruckus trying to get inside the sanctuary; especially since some of them were in wheelchairs.

They were adults who had some disabilities and all lived with a young couple who had driven them to church.

I was up front and hadn’t noticed them until they started to sing during the worship portion of the service. Their voices were loud and they enthusiastically waved their hands in the air.

In all fairness, they did sing on key; just not the same key as the rest of us!

During the message they were attentive and responsive to my preaching.

After the service I was able to introduce myself and thank them for attending our service.

The following Sunday they returned and once again “interrupted” the tranquility of our sanctuary. Once again, they had trouble getting to their seats. Once again, they sang “off key” and enthusiastically waved their hands during worship.

The couple who brought them told me that they had returned because this was the first church that had accepted them. All other churches that they had gone to had asked them not to return because of the commotion that they caused.

I told them that they were welcomed and that I appreciated having them in the service.

The following Sunday they returned and once again “interrupted” the tranquility of our sanctuary. Once again, they had trouble getting to their seats. Once again, they sang “off key” and enthusiastically waved their hands during worship.

This went on for several weeks and then THEY came to talk to me; religious Rachel and Ralph. THEY had been sitting watching all of this, week after week, not saying anything as their own comfort levels were being stretched.

THEY issued a complaint because THEY thought that these people were too much of a distraction and wanted to know what I was going to do about them.

I replied that I wasn’t going to do anything because this group of adults wanted to be a part of our congregation and communicated that other churches had asked them not to return.

And then I shared how the couple who brings them each week told me a story about one of the women who came each week and who was the loudest in all aspects; including singing, clapping, and trying to get to her seat.

This woman, I was told, got up at five-o-clock in the morning every Sunday, got dressed, and waited by the front door so that she wouldn’t miss the van ride to our church.

On some Sundays she would get so excited anticipating going to church that she would have a seizure as she stood by the front door waiting to go.

I told “Rachel” and “Ralph” that this group of adults were now a part of who we were as a church.

I asked “Rachel” and “Ralph” when was the last time had they set down their preconceived ideas as to what was pleasing and acceptable to do during worship?

Then I asked them when was the last time that they had a seizure or fainted because of anticipation of going to church?

In Psalm 84, the writer exclaims that he faints in anticipation of being in the house of the Lord. 

He says that he LONGS to be with the Lord;

 “How lovely is your dwelling place,

  O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
  I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord.
  With my whole being, body and soul, 

  I will shout joyfully to the living God.”(Psalm 84:1-2)

King David wrote in Psalm 122:1

“I was glad when they said to me,

“Let us go to the house of the Lord.”

He longed to be in the presence of the Lord and with God’s people.

My friend, when was the last time that you pushed through all of the obstacles that prevented you from being in church?

When was the last time that you had a seizure or fainted because of anticipation of going to church?

All Scripture is from The New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Beautiful Bride

One of my daughters (Judith) got married this past week. Man, was that was tough on this old man! No, not because of any costs or time associated with the wedding, but because of the emotions connected with being the father of the bride as well as the officiant.

I am a pastor and at the time of this writing, I have about eight weddings to officiate this summer and several booked for next year...so weddings can be “old hat” for me…yet they never are. I guess I am just a romantic at heart.

Or, as one of my other daughters (Elizabeth) said to me eight years ago just before I walked her down the aisle; “Dad, you’re not as tough as you think you are!” pointing out that the pastor who had done premarital counseling for her and her husband was in the audience just in case I “couldn’t finish the task” of being both dad and officiant.

I have done this before, so you would think that it would get easier; no, it doesn’t! With each of my children I appreciated that they had asked me to even be a part of their wedding as a guest.

On the day of Judith’s wedding, my heart was on a roller coaster of emotions as I made a protein shake. I was using the time to deal with my nervous energy awaiting decision as to whether the wedding would be outdoors or inside depending on the weather.

Rain, rain, go away….

 

As I stood in the kitchen drinking my shake, I was filled with gratefulness as I thought about how the Lord had faithfully walked us through some tough times as she, as a teen, had questions and struggles about life and its meaning.

To use up some of my time I went back into my office and re-edited the message over and over until I told myself to stop.

My OCD was interrupted by a text from my daughter confirming that we would go ahead and do the ceremony outdoors. The weather had shifted and instead of rain, the clouds gave way and became a very beautiful day filled with sunshine.

My heart shouted out a responsive; “Praise God!” because I knew that the outdoor location had great significance for my daughter (as well as for the rest of our family).

So, I packed up my briefcase, a podium, and my dress clothes and headed out the door to meet my soon-to be son-in-law to set up the place for the wedding; which was located twenty minutes from our house.

The location was fifty yards from a river in a state park that has a large bridge overhead. The shore was lined with geese and this year’s goslings and a couple of fishermen who offered to move somewhere else; but we told them to stay and enjoy the weather.

This was a special place where my daughter searched and cried out for answers during a season in her past when life didn’t make sense. And here today we celebrated the some of those answers.

It was also a spot very close to where grandpa Gene died almost ten years earlier; in the same state park and below the very same bridge.

The time came for me to walk my beautiful daughter, dressed in a stunning dress, down the aisle to the front; looking into each other’s eyes, knowing the grace of this precious moment. Tears of joy filled my eyes as we exchanged private tender words to each other as we made our way to her awaiting groom.

Up front I assumed the role of officiant and added some comic relief as I asked; “Who gives this woman away?”; quickly stepping back into my position as dad as I replied; “I do”.

As I looked out at the audience made up of immediate family members, I realized just how handsome my two sons (and sons-in-law) are and how beautiful my four daughters (and daughters-in-law) are; I am so grateful that I had married a beautiful woman!

The wedding ceremony was short and sweet and went off without a hitch, that is until I looked at each of my four daughters, my wife, and my mother-in-law as I recalled to the audience the significance of this place.

At that point, I became so chocked up with emotion that I could hardly speak as tears began to fill their eyes. Maybe Elizabeth was right that I’m not as tough as I think that I am!

I regained my composure and finished joining these two in matrimony and then took time for the photographs.

After we packed up and loaded our vehicles with all of the props, I headed home to change my shirt, now saturated from the humid air and from standing in the bright sunshine, and then headed off to the reception located twenty minutes away.

Feasting and joy was on the itinerary for the evening as a large group of friends and family joined us to celebrate this delightful couple. The food was out of this world and the service was second to none!

Cathy and I were able to mingle from guest to guest playing the role as two of the hosts and hostesses; that is, in between times of chasing the grandchildren around at their request.

When I was asked by my Judith to join her for the “Father-Daughter Dance”, I made my way to the awaiting audience of one. As we danced, it became another opportunity for us to exchange private tender words to each other as we held on to each other and slowly shuffled our feet to the music.  

I realized this wasn’t anything that I had “earned” by being a "perfect dad", nor was I “owed” this opportunity; this was a gift of love! And, hockey player or not, I was deeply moved and once again tears came to my eyes. 

She chose me to walk her down the aisle, and she chose me to officiate, and she chose to invite me to be a dad at her wedding, and she chose me to dance with her and to share this joyous day with her.

The evening continued to be filled with great joy and much more food as guests made themselves available for conversations with people who, prior to this event, had not known each other and now could because we were all friends of the bride and groom.

Eventually, the celebration wound down and we all headed to our homes or to an adjoining hotel. God had clearly heard and answered this poor man’s cries.

“This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.” (Psalm 34:6 NKJV)