I’m Getting Married In The Morning

I LOVE officiating weddings! I personally feel honored to be a part of their special day!

Recently, my 2019 Wedding Season came to an end.

And can I just state for the record how privileged I am to work with such great people and to be invited to join them as they tell the world of their love for each other and state their vows.

Yes, there is a lot of time that goes into getting a couple ready, preparing messages, rehearsal dinners, and trips to mail the paperwork to make things official… But still; what a privilege. I love my job!

Almost all of the weddings that I officiated this year went off without a hitch.

I say that because in May of 2019, I officiated a wedding that I hadn’t planned on officiating. In fact, it wasn’t on my calendar; nor was it even in my schedule for that Saturday in May.

I had two appointments scheduled with couples for whom I was going to officiate later in the summer of 2019. But in between my two appointments, I received a frantic call from a friend who, although he is licensed to marry, had neglected to register his credentials with the State of Minnesota.

He discovered this about two hours before the wedding!

So, he called me to see if I could come down to the wedding and tag team with him and say the pronouncement and then sign and file the legal documents.

I asked him how well he knew the couple since I don’t do weddings by the seat of my pants as he was suggesting.

 

He told me that had worked for at least six months with the couple (planning and premarital counselling) and that he was related to the groom.

I told him that although I would like to help out, I was busy; but I was willing to call the couple who would be coming over in an hour to see if they would be willing to reschedule. I told him that I would have to get back to him.

This did little to calm him down.

I made a quick phone call and the couple that I was scheduled to meet with was very willing to reschedule and meet with me the next day.

I called my friend back and discovered that the wedding was only eight miles from my house. I decided to bail him out so as to not cause any (more) anxiety for the awaiting couple to whom he had told of his dilemma. I told him that I would need to put on a suit and would be at the venue in about thirty minutes.

I called Cathy to let her know of my change of plans since I wouldn’t be home when she came back for her errands. I changed my clothing and headed out to join my friend at the wedding.

When I arrived, the bride came over to me and sternly asked who I was and what was I doing at her wedding…I said to her that I was the pastor who was going to make this day official. She changed her demeanor and welcomed me with open arms.

We preceded to start the wedding.

I stood next to my friend as he gave a message and walked the couple through the vows, rings, etc. The two candles kept blowing out before the couple could light the unity candle.

The best man used a lighter to keep relighting the two candles. When the groom asked me if this was a bad sign, his bride let him know that this was not the time or the place to ask such questions.

After my friend’s portion was completed, I did the pronouncement and signed the paperwork. The couple thanked me for helping them out. Prior to leaving, my friend also gave me a hug for coming through. And even though it wasn’t on my schedule, it was a nice way to spend a sunny afternoon.

That was the start of wedding season. I’m glad that was not a sign of things to come…

And now that my 2019 wedding season is over, and as I slowly start the process of meeting with the couples for 2020, I pause to tell you a joke.

``A man walking on the beach found a bottle, uncorked it and a genie appeared. The genie declared: `I will grant you one wish. What do you desire?'

``The man thought for a while and answered: `I have always had a fear of boats and planes, and so my travels have been limited. One place I would really like to see before I die is Hawaii. Please build me a bridge from this beach to Hawaii.'

`The genie considered the man's request, but then shook his head and replied: `Do you know what you're asking? Do you know how many hundreds of miles it is from here to Hawaii?

Think of the thousands of men that would be needed.

Think of the number of pilings it would require.

Think of the constant adjustments that would have to be made for the staggered depth of the ocean.

No, no, I'm sorry, but that is a wish that I simply cannot grant.'

``The man sighed with disappointment, thought for another moment, and said: `OK. Well then, just explain women to me.'

``The genie pulled out pencil and paper and asked: `Will that be two lanes or four?' ''

Happy trails my friend – Pastor Tommy O

“There are three things that amaze me—

No, four things that I don’t understand:How an eagle glides through the sky,How a snake slithers on a rock,How a ship navigates the ocean,How a man loves a woman.” (Proverbs 30:18-19)

I Spilled Coffee on My Shirt!

My mom instilled in me at an early age a sense for fashion. And, except for when I don’t, I always like to keep up my appearance. 

She believed that clothes should be kept clean (which was no small task for her since she had ten children). So each day my mom would wash and dry the laundry so that once again clothing would always be kept clean and ready for the next event.

Mom instructed me that clothes do make the man and therefore each fall she would take me shopping to pick out the newest style of clothing.

My mom was so in tune with fashion that I had bell bottoms the same season that they first came out in the seventies, along with paisley shirts, vests, bandannas, and tie-dyed t-shirts. She let us boys dress like hippies and the girls wear dresses made from paper.

When this new thing called “disco” came along, she took me to the store to purchase leisure suits with white and brown platform shoes. 

Fortunately, I quickly learned that "stayin alive" meant that I should not have anything to do with the whole disco scene, and I got as far away from it as I could possibly get!

Today, I may not always be in style (sometimes one must wait several years for an older style to come full circle), but I do have a sense of what looks good together

My dress shirts are sent to the local dry cleaner to be professionally cleaned; heavy on the starch. After wearing them for an event, I promptly send them back to the cleaners for a fresh start.

My suits are neatly hanging in a closet awaiting to be paired up with a pair of dress pants and a matching tie. My dress shoes are polished and shined to military precision.

I pay attention (and will even ask) if my socks match my pants.

Even when I am casual in my attire I care about whether what I am wearing matches; including when I am just running up to the store or cutting the grass.

Another thing that mom taught me was that it was important to not spill food on your clothing and to always keep it clean. When we were little, she made bibs to cover my clothing as I worked on getting food and beverages into my mouth without spilling.

I’ve worked with quite a few co-workers who could have used this training from my mom. In fact, it seems to me that each time they put on a new shirt, they insist on spilling food on it!

In fashion and food my mom taught me well.

So, you can imagine the horror when I spilled coffee on my shirt!

No, this wasn’t a special shirt, but the idea of staying clean in my appearance was put to the test as I tried to figure a way to conceal the major faux pas in the fashion world. I thanked God that Miranda Priestly wasn’t around!

Quickly I went to the nearest source of water to dilute the stain before it set in, knowing that it would still need to be pre-treated with laundry soap (to attempt) to remove it.

I realize that what I call a sense of fashion has the undertones of OCD; in that clothing really serves a basic need for modesty and warmth. Beyond that is mere vanity and preference.

And the delusion that I can always keep my clothes clean (or anything for that matter) is OCD in full bloom!

As the great comedian Phyllis Diller once said; “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing”

As delusional it is to think that I can keep my clothes always clean, it is even more delusional to think (and believe) that I can keep my life totally clean at all times.

Like a fresh shirt, my life can be an open target of the misdirected things that fly towards me (or out of my mouth) and land in places that puts my illusion of righteousness to the test as I tried to figure a way to conceal the major faux pas to others in my world.

My feeble attempts to stay clean or to even clean up and conceal my mess will always (in my efforts) fail miserably. Simply put, it won’t work.

Like spilled coffee on my shirt, I need to go quickly to the only source that can “dilute the stain” before it sets in, knowing that it will still need to be washed with something greater to remove it.

In Isaiah 1:18 the Lord calls out to all of us who have “spilled coffee on our shirts” (sin) that we can’t seem to remove;

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

The Lord wants to remove ALL of the stain so that there are NO reminders that anything was “spilled”.

“And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:13-14)

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)

We may not be able to start each day with new, or at least clean clothes, but we can awaken with the hope that as we turn to God each day, we will find His mercy fresh and new waiting for us to use. Great is His faithfulness; in that we can place our hope!

Are you ready to get your life cleaned up? Have you tried to clean up your life with no success? Are you tired of trying to do it your way? Call 1-888-NEED –HIM; someone is waiting to talk with you.

All Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Boasting Weakness

“How was your game?” Cathy asked me when I came home from hockey this week. “Not great”; I told her.

I went on to say; “I played good defense and stopped and blocked several shots. At one point my goalie said thanks for saving some goals by taking the hit. But offensively, I didn’t score a goal or an assist and we seemed to be off as a team.”  

And, when I couldn’t play as well as I wanted to, I had to stop myself because I could feel self-criticism creeping into my vocabulary.

Yes, in the big picture, I will survive to play another and better game. And yes, it’s OK if I lose, but I don’t like to play and not make some difference to my teammates.

The fact is, parts of my game were out of my control and even though I did my best, I needed to admit that I had weakness in my game.

So, I have been pondering that word “weakness” this week as around me things have been beyond my control. People I have been working with have been making dumb decisions and seemingly throwing away all my sage advice.

All around me seemed (with my distorted lenses on) to be people whose lives were in chaos. Some of them ended up (actually) dying by drinking themselves to death or continuing to kill a relationship that at one point meant something to them.

Weakness is translated in the Bible:  feebleness (of body or mind); by implication malady; moral frailty: - disease, infirmity, sickness, weakness. more feeble, impotent, sick, without strength

None of us like to admit we have weakness in any part of our game or our lives. We want to believe that we are the superstar, the champion, the one who still has it (whether we had before or not).

And yet we all have weakness, no matter how hard we try to change the circumstance, and we all have areas we still struggle in or that are out of our control in our lives; and in the lives we try to help put back together.  

Simply put, this week I needed to admit that I had weakness in my life if I was going to survive this game of life.

I remember 22 years years ago when I was a young pastor some counsel that another older pastor gave to me. He said that IF I was going to work with people who wanted to kill themselves, I had to be “ok” with the fact that they may end up killing themselves no matter what I said or did. The same was true with people pondering an abortion or a divorce or struggling with an addiction.

The apostle Paul wrote about his weakness saying that he BOASTED in and about his weakness.

He had an area of his life that wasn’t as he wished it to be and prayed that the Lord would heal him so that he wouldn’t be weak any more.

He wrote that he prayed to be healed three times and that the Lord said to Paul; “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 

Paul’s responds (this amazes me) by writing; “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Earlier in that same letter to the Church in Corinth he wrote;“Who is weak without my feeling that weakness? Who is led astray, and I do not burn with anger? If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.” (2 Corinthians 11:29-30)

Boasting in his weakness? How??? Because Paul came to realize that his weakness was a conduit for the Lord to show His glory (through) Paul’s life. He didn’t have to have every area of his life working perfectly (as he thought it should be) for the Lord to use him.

Simply put, he could do his best and trust that God could still do great things through his best attempt; even if it wasn’t his best “game”.

Paul responded to this revelation by writing; “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10)

Paul is saying; “I just let Christ take over! And so, the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

That is the kind of man I want to be, whether playing in a hockey game or in the game of life. A man who boasts in his weakness that the power of God and the glory of God may be seen by others who observe my life!

All Scripture Taken from NLT Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

We Were All So Young

An old boss of mine used to give me a hard time for still playing ice hockey in my late forties, calling it a “young man’s game”. I’m glad that I never let his good natured ribbing convince me to hang up the skates, but rather still lace them up to play one to two games per week. Not bad for someone who is “too old to play”. Good thing Gordie Howe didn’t listen either or he would not have been playing when he turned sixty eight. 

 

What I love about being able to still play ice hockey at age fifty six is that even if I have a bad game, it still was good day. A bad day on the ice is still better than not playing at all. I’m also grateful that I have a wife who encourages me to still play; she says that she sees the smile on my face and realizes that in those eyes is a little boy who is ten and is in the Stanley Cup finals as he slips one past an unsuspecting goaltender.

 

But after I leave the ice and I am removing my clothing, skates, and other equipment…which are now all ten pounds heavier from perspiration from the game…my body reminds me that I am actually fifty six going on sixty.

 

It’s not that I am out of shape; I actually spend three to four days in the gym both lifting weights and doing cardio in order to stay young. It is that the reality is that none of us old guys are as young as we might think that we are.

This hit home for me today as I was sitting on the bench after a game and removing my skates. The next group of men who had rented the ice were arriving and getting ready for their game. A player from my game started playfully taunting some of the younger players…twenty or thirty somethings…and then said; “Hey I suppose I shouldn’t give you a hard time or else you will beat us up...then again who would you impress by telling that you beat up some mid fifty players who just came off the ice after three hours of playing!”

 

I hyperbolically made a comment that we could probably take them until I saw them hit the ice and then we all realized that we were not as great as we had thought. We were not as fast, young, or as strong as these young players.

 

In fact we probably looked like Nathan Gerbe, previously with Buffalo Sabres (who is 5 feet 5 inches, 178 pounds ) standing next to Zdeno Chara of the Boston Bruins (who is 6 feet 9 inches, 225 pounds-it is said that with his skates on he has to be near 7 feet tall!)

 

These guys were fresh out of college and they were large and fast and reminded us that we were not spring chicks.

 

Although we were both totally kidding, I would submit that in each of our lives we, at times, think much higher of ourselves than we ought to and forget that rarely do we really get to see how great we are or are not compared to others who have similar gifts, skills, or talents.

 

The Bible actually tells us that God hates it when we live prideful lives;  “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6b)

 

In fact it’s one of the seven things that He hates and are an abomination to Him. (See Proverbs 6:16-20)

 

Or we think that our accomplishments are all because of us! We live in a narcissistic society that places less on team work and family and more on letting individuality and personal accomplishments drive us well beyond our fifteen minutes of fame that was promised by Andy Warhol into isolated and lonely lives as the limelight slowly fades away. 

 

The Bible exhorts us:

“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. (Romans 12:3)

 

Perhaps we; like that ten year old boy in our heads, need to realize that we may not be as great as we think we are and we may not be playing in the Stanley Cup Finals; and that’s OK for we were all so young…

 

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.