Since
coming to Christ forty years ago, I have had many conversations with
individuals caught in the grip of addiction; twenty-three years of this time
serving as a pastor.
Consistently,
congregants, family members, clients, and staff have asked the question; “What
causes certain people to become so consumed by a substance that it becomes an
addiction where others do not?” and “How do we help them come to a place of
victory over their addiction(s)?”
If
you had asked me years ago what causes an addiction, I would have told you that
some people are just not disciplined enough to walk away. Simply put, they just
needed to try harder; as I leaned on ‘reality therapy’ to motivate them to
change. But that really doesn’t work.
What Is The
Problem?
Occupationally,
I have spent the past five years working as a pastor with people who struggle
with all types of addictions; particularly drug and alcohol. And through that
experience, I have learned that we may be going about it the wrong way when it
comes to helping people get set free.
Here
are six of my observations:
1.)
The ‘average’ person who comes to treatment will go through eight to ten
programs; some short-term (28 days) and some long-term (12 months). In other
words, the treatment becomes a revolving door experience as they continue to go
from (treatment) program to program; never really getting set free.
Some
of this comes from the painful rut of a life time of substance abuse (such as
alcohol) or because the program was too short and the cognitive side never
kicked in (meth takes around ninety days to get out of the system…which you
can’t do in a twenty-eight-day program).
2.)
People successfully stop abusing or using a substance without dealing with the
‘why they used” and they transfer their emotions and energy to another “ism”
such as “rage-aholics” or “work-aholics” or “perfection-aholics.”
3.)
Government has been unsuccessful with their one-hundred-year-old
war on drugs; which has led to extremes such as prohibition or legalization as
a solution to stop the problem. But history has proven that you can’t legislate
this problem away.
4.)
People are given a sobriety coin to show how many years, months, or days they
have been sober. And then when they relapse, they chastise themselves and
discouragement sets in because they failed…Instead of celebrating how many days,
months, or years that they had been sober; and be encouraged to get up, and
start again.
5.)
People who also have felonies are subject to returning to substance abuse
after discouragement sets in because society calls them “felons”. So, even if
they are successful with treatment, it sabotages their success outside of
treatment.
This
is counterproductive since the goal of the Department of Corrections is to
‘reduce recidivism’. And yet people with felonies can’t rent or vote or get
jobs. This makes it very difficult for them to clean up debt and pay off fines
and so discouragement sets in. They relapse to ease their pain and either
go back into treatment or go back to lives of crime or, often times, overdose
and end their lives.
6.)
A major contribution to addictions comes from doctors who freely prescribe highly
addictive drugs such as opiates for all levels of pain. Then, when users turn
to heroin to meet their opiate cravings, these same doctors prescribe methadone,
suboxone, fentanyl, or carfentanyl which are even more potent and addictive and
even harder to break free from!
Addiction
is very profitable for both those who prescribe them and the manufacturers who
spend major amounts of money for lobbyists to make drugs such as suboxone, the ‘required’ drug of treatment centers to use for getting someone off of heroin. Yes, some drug dealers do so legally under
the cloak of a prescription pad and make a ton of money because they went to medical
school; while others sell the exact same drugs on the streets illegally and are
called ‘felons”!
What is the Solution?
People
need to write on the other side of the sobriety coin what are the key areas
that they struggle with below the surface of the substance that they are
abusing. They need to (metaphorically) work on “the footings” of their lives,
not just “slap on a new coat of paint.”
In
other words, not only looking at how many days, week, years that they have been
sober, but dealing with the reasons behind the abuse such as “I struggle
with…"Loneliness, Insecurity, Abandonment issues, Loss, PTSD, Trauma, or Rejection."
How Do We Do
This?
The
opposite of addiction is not getting people sober. It is getting them into
healthy relationships.
Simply
put, people are really looking for community and they will bond with anything
that will bring a connection and too often that is in places that ultimately
will take their life. This is true for all areas of addiction including drugs,
alcohol, gambling, workaholism, rage, perfectionism, pornography and other
sexual addictions and abusive relationships.
Yes,
gambling and working too many hours is just as addictive as cocaine and heroin,
with none of the chemical hooks.
Initially
the solution seems to be that we should create special support groups for
“them”, which looks good on the surface, but has the potential of causing
further division for those seeking help. After all, who wants to join a group for "angry heroin addicts who struggle with pornography," especially if you have them
meet at a church.
While
many have used support groups to successfully stay sober, it isn’t the program
that is used; it is the gathering place that is created that really is what
makes it a place for successful sobriety.
I
submit that we need to do something else. If community is really what we are ALL
looking for, then we need to create community. We can level the ground by
finding common inward needs that may be viewed through different outward
expressions. This is instead of setting up special support groups that most of
us will never join because we are not one of “them.”
The
common ground for all of us is that we all have issues below the surface that
at times comes out and we hurt. It is what we do with those pains that makes
all of the difference. Suddenly this isn’t an us vs them, but it is relevant to
all of us; especially as we as a society become more disconnected.
Solution: Beyond
Treatment is COMMUNITY
The people that I know who have
remained successfully sober (not just from substance abuse) are actively living
life in community.
I tell people that they can be successfully sober
if they do the following:
·
Stay connected: Become part of a great church
Stay committed: Become a part of a small group
Stay transparent: Become accountable
Stay honest: Remember your vows
Stay humble: Keep serving others
·
Stay focused: Keep developing your character
Keep
following the Lord Jesus Christ with your whole life
Church, we have a great opportunity
to be the place for recovery and healing to take place. We have a great
opportunity to be the community that people can go to for love, acceptance,
healing, and life. We can be the place in which people can discover who they
are in Christ.
BUT: It’s not a formula or a program.
It is a family. And it takes grace.
“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is
overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that
person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same
temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this
way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to
help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”
(Galatians 6:1-3 Message Version)
If you or a loved one are struggling with
addiction, here are some links; all of them have "get help" buttons. It
is a pretty simple application process and someone in admissions at the
treatment centers should be able to walk you through it.
MN Adult
& Teen Challenge: http://www.mntc.org
Metro Hope: https://www.metrohope.org
Life
Builders (formerly
Midwest Challenge): http://www.lrbmn.org
Please call me if you have
questions 612-819-3689
Pastor Tommy O, River of
Hope Ministries
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