The
following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and
one of its guests. The Hotel ended up
submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times!
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars
from the shelf under the medicine chest and the other three in the shower soap
dish. They are in my way.
Thank you, S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid.
She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower
soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars
on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser
in case you should change your mind.
This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the
management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I
hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, relief maid.
Dear Maid -
I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the
little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had
added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two
weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little
Camays which are on the shelf. They are
in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management.
I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in
the soap dish where your Dial was. I put
the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which
are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which
you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further
assistance.
Your regular maid, Dotty
Dear
Mr. Berman,
The
assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him
last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your
room. I hope you will accept my
apologies for any past inconvenience. If
you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine
Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel
for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last
night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do
anything about those little bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along
with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24
little bars of soap. Why are you doing
this to me?
S. Berman
Dear
Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop
delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. if I can be of further assistance, please
call ext. 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank
you,
Elaine
Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing.
Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size
Dial. I came in late last night and had
to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there
was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap
each time they service a room. The
situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars
of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of
Camay. I want my own bar of bath-size Dial.
Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here?! All I want is my bath
size Dial. Please give me back my
bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear
Mr. Berman,
First
you complained that you had too much soap.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
personally returned them. The 24 Camays
which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashemere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy,
did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3
daily Camays. I don't know where you got
the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine
Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory. As of today I possess: On the shelf under the medicine cabinet - 18
Camays in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay
in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3
Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of
4. Inside the medicine cabinet - 14
Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay,
very moist. On the northeast corner of
the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please
ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled
and dusted. Also please advise her that
stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip.
May I suggest that my bedroom windowsill is not in use and would make an
excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item: I have purchased another bar of bath-size
Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further
misunderstandings.
S. Berman
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