Vacating Valentine's Day

I want to state emphatically for the record that I love Valentine’s Day and participate in it fully.

I have joyfully and romantically given gifts, flowers, and cards to Cathy on Valentine’s Day since 1981.

Many years ago when my children were little, I started the tradition of making Valentine’s Day cards and giving them to them along with candy.

As years passed, this morphed into something that Cathy and I do together for our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren.

I say that because some of you, after reading this blog (or its title), might assume that I’m kind of a Scrooge when it comes to Valentine Day.  I’m not, I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in love.

It’s easy to make or send a card or flowers or candy on Valentine’s Day. After all, people are open to giving and receiving love on this day.

This ritual is participated in by single and married people; young and old alike.

But there are other days of the year besides February 14 on which we are called to love one another. In fact I sometimes question if cards and flowers and candy has the same meaning given on February 14^th as they would have on any of the other 364 days of the year.

I further ponder if the giving of cards, flowers, and gifts wouldn’t potentially have a greater impact of they were given throughout the year (excluding birthdays and holidays where sometimes we may feel obligated to give).

You may be wondering where my “cynicism” to giving on Valentine’s Day comes from…

Although it may come across that way, it’s really not cynicism; I am just pondering…as I look at a dozen roses in a vase on our counter. Roses that were given as a token of my love for my wife with no reason or mixed motivation. I simply wanted to give her flowers.

Next to the vase is a note that Cathy left for me that was written on a scrap of paper as she headed out to work before I woke up.

When I did arise I also saw that there was a voice message to me from Cathy explaining that she was almost was in an accident.

While driving to work on the freeway, her pickup truck spun out and slid to within five inches from slamming into a guardrail. On the other side of the guardrail was an embankment that went down a ways to another freeway.

She was a little shook up and was waiting for a tow truck to arrive and pull her out of the snowbank. There was no damage to the truck and she (and I) were very grateful.

 

I realized (without sounding over dramatic) her note to me and the (tender) words we said as we fell asleep the night before may have been the last expression of our love to each other. I may frame the note.

So, that is why I am exhorting you and myself to “vacate” Valentine’s Day…or at least let’s work on sending notes, cards, flowers, etc. more often throughout the year.

Loving one another is one of the key components to Christianity. The Bible is full of verses exhorting, commanding, and encouraging us to love one another. Here are a few of them:

“You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:18

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34

“Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8

“Let all that you do be done with love.” I Corinthians 16:14

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;” I Peter 3:8

“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” I Peter 4:8

“For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another,”  

“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” I John 3:18

“No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.” 1 John 4:12-13

“We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

If Valentine’s Day is the only day that you show or express love; well, I suppose that is a start.

But I want to encourage you to be the change in this world that you are hoping to see. Be a person who for the next week or month or year DAILY looks for opportunities to let people know that you love them.

“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of My brethren, you did it to Me.” Matthew 25:40

That will make the world a much better place to be in.

“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13:13

Happy Valentine’s Day from me

All Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

You’ve Stolen My Heart

At the time of this writing, I have four grandsons (Emmett, Everett, Gavin, and Rowan) and one granddaughter (Fallon Ann). I love each of them so very much, and oftentimes it is very hard for me after they have gone home (or when I have left their house). Each of them has a part of my heart.

I still don’t know how it happens, but (seemingly) each and every time we visit the grandchildren, they light up when they see us and come running over to give me (and Cathy) a hug.

And yet, because there is only one granddaughter, I can write this without offending the boys…that is until another granddaughter comes along.

But something happened to me on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 6:34 in the morning, when our daughter Elizabeth (with her husband Chris at her side) gave birth to her first child; Fallon Ann.

A casual look at my BlogSpot revealed that I have written about her at least sixteen times since she was born. I re-read some of them tonight as I am writing this week’s blog and cried because of my love for her.

I was thinking of the casual conversations Cathy and I had this past week when we spent time at Fallon’s hobby farm along with her brother Gavin, my daughter Elizabeth, and her husband Chris. Cathy and I had gone up to their home to help build a playhouse.

I should note that when I work on projects, I have a history of being goal orientated. But sometimes it has been at the expense of quality time with my children and grandchildren.  

This comes from my years working in construction where production meant profits. In fact, Cathy’s dad, when he was alive, used to “drive me nuts” when he would stop and start work on projects (such as when we built the cabin together) just so that he could spend time with his children and grandchildren.

He was a man who really knew that things were not more important than people and relationships. And so, as I thought of him on the drive up to the farm, I was determined this would not be one of those times so I asked Cathy to help me take some breaks to spend quality time with Fallon and Gavin.

I should note that even if I am focused or goal orientated, I have always made room for my children to help by handing stuff to me or swinging a hammer or cleaning up. Today was no acception as Gavin and Fallon worked alongside of us.

At one point towards five pm, Cathy told Gavin and Fallon that we would be staying over for supper so that grandpa could spend time with them. That was my cue to set down the hammer and stop working for the day.

And, just to make sure that I got the message, Cathy said gently said to me; “No more work so that you can spend time with them.” I took the opportunity to thank her and proceeded to go to Gavin and Fallon who called for me to push them on the swings.

It was a wonderful opportunity to swing and talk and laugh and spend quality time with just the two of them as mom and dad cooked supper with Cathy. During this time away from work, Fallon really touched my heart on two occasions.

The first came when I showed her a photo of a drawing that she did on the white board in our kitchen. The weekend before when she was at our house she started drawing a face in dry erase markers and I asked her who it was and she said; “It’s you” and gave me a big smile as she proceeded to draw another person whom I had assumed was grandma Cathy.

When I showed her the photo of the drawing and made a comment about grandpa and grandma, she said; “That’s not grandma, that is a picture I drew of you and me, grandpa”. I stood corrected and my heart was touched that she would draw a picture of the two of us.

After a while, Fallon said that she wanted to sweep out the clubhouse one more time before we ate, so I walked with her.

As we walked through her yard, talking about all sorts of things, Fallon said to me; “Grandpa, I’ve been trying to think of something special that just you and I can do together today.” This little girl was reciprocating love to me and desired to spend time with me and communicated it so very clearly.

And, as important as it was for her to get her clubhouse built, she wanted even more to spend time with the builder.

Now it is one thing to for me to think that I am a favorite person to my children and grandchildren and quite another when I find out that it may be true.

For some of us, this is easy to believe and receive. For others of us, this is not so easy to believe and receive. In fact, our minds can self-talk us into pushing it away.

And yet, the fact is my granddaughter loves her grandpa and wanted (wants) to spend time with him.

As I write this I realize that sometimes I do the same thing with God. Oh, I am grateful that He provides for me and forgives me (and doesn’t squash me like a bug).

But sometimes it is hard to believe and receive the fact that He wants to spend time with me; after all…if He only knew…oh wait, He does know…

Or that He could possibly ever say to me; “I’ve been trying to think of something special that just you and I can do together today.”

It is in these moments that I must believe that He has a part of my heart and stand on His Word that tells me that He demonstrated His own love toward me when I was a sinner and died for me.” (Romans 5:8)

He hung on a cross while we were yet sinners arms wide open, heart exposed, and longing for us to come to Him like my grandchildren do every time I see them.

And He isn’t as preoccupied with the religious things as we might think. And, as important as it is for us to do things for Him, He wants even more to spend time with the person doing the work.

He wants us to come to Him and spend time with Him as though nothing else matters.

How about you? Do you know that you are loved; really loved? Believe it or not you can. God is waiting for an opportunity to love you. But don’t take my word for it; take His – the BIBLE. Unsure where to start? Drop me a line pastortommyoestreich@gmail.com

I would love to share with you how you, too, can have a slate that is clean and heart that is open to love.

Or call 1-877-2GRAHAM (1-877-247-2426) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Thirty Five & Thirty Six & Counting…

It was a Saturday in March 1980 and I was working at a Youth Center in the maintenance department as well as helping out with retreats. I had gone into work to pick up a tool and stopped in the kitchen for a quick bite to eat and some conversation with the kitchen staff and a cute blond lass. 

She was staffing the retreat and had stopped by the kitchen to look for plunger or something to unclog a sink in the women’s bathroom that was plugged. 


She looked at me and asked me if I could help her with her task.


She was young and pretty and single and so was I; so I offered my assistance in her plumbing crisis.


When I got to the bathroom, the rest of the story was told; not only was the sink clogged, but the bathroom floor had two inches of standing water from the overflow.


I gave her some instruction and went down to my shop in the basement to get some tools and then ran back up to the third floor again to rescue this damsel in distress. 

When I arrived back to the bathroom, unbeknown to me, another crisis had arisen. Somewhere between the second and third floor she had lost one of her contacts! Her concern was that she had dropped it in the bathroom. 

I quickly unclogged the sink and accepted the new challenge of finding her contact in the two inches of standing water. I said to her that if I did find the contact, then she would owe me a date…Pretty clever, eh?


After looking for awhile with no success, I decided to go back to the second floor to get a flashlight hoping that it would help me to find the lost contact. I found one in the kitchen so I made my way back to the third floor bathroom. 


While walking upstairs, the sunlight caught something on the stair tread and bounced off a flash of light which caught my eye. I kneeled down on the step and way at the back of the step in the corner where the riser meets the tread was her contact! The sunlight had reflected off the contact enough for me to see it. 


I picked it up and ran back up to the third floor to give it to her and to collect my reward (a date with her) which we scheduled for the following night after she was done with the retreat. I invited her to a playhouse which was not only showing a play but also at which I had a “one-man” art show of a dozen or so of my paintings.


She ended up standing me up (as I tell the story) and never showed up for her knight in shining armor to pay off her debt. She tells a different version…

She said that because I was (am) a bit of a tease she didn’t think I was serious…and (as she tells it) she thought that I was still going out with someone else. I wasn’t; I had stopped dating the other woman she was thinking of a few weeks ago.

We ended up going out the following Friday and have been dating ever since. That was thirty six years ago this past March.

On June 6, 1981 we were married to seal the deal. This year we celebrate thirty five years of being married.

Happy 35th Anniversary Katie My Datie!