An Open Letter to My Canadian Friends

Oh Canada!

I love you, but I don’t understand why you are pushing me away.

I have supported you and openly received the great gift of hockey that you gave to the USA (and the world). It was the greatest gift that any country could give another; and I have played the game for fifty years!

I have stood up and proudly sung your national anthem at every game that a team from Canada was playing in. I even made plans to move to your country if I would have been drafted in the mid-seventies.

I have shed tears each year when a team from Canada wasn’t playing in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Canada, I love you, but I don’t understand why you are pushing me away.

I realize that you Canadians didn’t take lightly President Trump’s decision to impose tariffs on Canadian steel and aluminum; especially when he labeled your country ‘a national security threat’.

And, because you are a kind and loving people, I want you to know that it is ok to be insulted by his comments.

Canadians aren’t only polite; they’re incredibly humble too, and reluctant to take credit for even plainly heroic acts.

I, too, was taken aback by his comments and wondered if he forgot that your and daughters fought alongside the boys and girls from the USA in Afghanistan?

But, why are you pushing me away?

I have even defended and revered the outlandish suits worn by Don Cherry and have helped my fellow countrymen to honor him as a revered hero of your country.

I consider it a true honor to have been able to walk the same continent as Mr. Cherry; something that I will always cherish (pun intended).

I raised my children to drink maple syrup out of the bottle and to shop at Tim Horton’s.

Before they left home, I taught each of them to spell “Canada” without using flashcards….C-eh-N-eh-D-eh

I even taught my children English so that they would be able to talk with people from the Great North and told them that it was ok to take money from your country…

I even supported people who threatened to move to your country if Trump was elected. I told them that you would greet them with open arms.

So why Canada, why? Why are you sending me signals that you don’t love me anymore?

Why Canada, why did you have to send the thick clouds that are blocking our sun? What did I ever do to you?

The thick haze caused by smoke from more than 100 Canadian wildfires is causing unhealthy air quality conditions across a large part of Minnesota.

And we need our sun, without it we will become like the Eastern section of the USA and think up bad thoughts about Canada.

Minnesotans with lung or heart disease, older adults, children, and people participating in activities that require heavy or extended exertion may experience adverse health effects. This includes physical activity like playing sports or working outdoors.

This past weekend I coughed, and I am still coughing today because of your smoke. It’s enough to make me get upset and to….

Oh Canada, I don’t mean to have blown my top and gotten so harsh with you; you don’t deserve that.

I’m sorry (I learned that word from your country, since you Canadians say it so very, very often).

Everyone knows that Canadians are without any doubt one of the nicest populations on earth; maybe are too nice for this bad, bad world. 

You know that I love you… Of all of the adjectives that I could use, “nice” suits you best! Canada is to niceness as Saudi Arabia is to oil.

So, I ask you to please send a wind from up north to blow the smoke away so once again Minnesota can be clean like Canada and people can once again go outside and practice being nice.

The world, I think, would be a better place if we were all a bit more Canadian.