Like Father Like Son

I sat on my front porch watching a lonely figure walking the sidewalk like a night guard keeping watch over the city; barely visible except for the occasional glow of his cigarette and his dog who was leading the way. His appearance was a ghostly reminder of one who had long passed away.

For many years this was the nightly scene of a man and his dog; each going outside to do one more thing before turning in for the night. Each night the two of them would patrol the neighborhood as the non-insomniacs slept.

But both the man and dog had long passed away several decades before; so how was it that I was still seeing them? Were they ghosts aimlessly walking eternity in my neighborhood?

No, this was the son of the man long gone, who now lived in his father’s house. 

This man was the second generation who would perform this nightly habit of walking a dog while smoking one last cigarette for the day, for he had learned this ritual while his dad was alive.

This was the result of a boy watching his father showing him (intentionally or unintentionally) how to go through daily life.

As I sat and watched him, I realized that as a dad (and grandfather) I have passed on systems and patterns and habits that may affect generations; some good, some not so good.

I thought of another father who had influenced his son to follow in his footsteps.

"Good Good Father" is a song heard in churches and on radios around the world. It was written by Pat Barrett, lead singer of the Atlanta-based band, Housefires, along with Anthony Brown. The song was brought into the spot light when it was recorded by Chris Tomlin.

Pat wrote the song to introduce his own daughter to the Heavenly Father who so transformed his life. It was Pat’s attempt to explain to his children who God is; to tell them what He is like.

I first met Pat when he was very young along with his sister, his mother Daryl, and his father Marty at a pastor’s conference.

As I thought of the song, I realized that Pat wrote this song influenced by his own experience with his father Marty.

I really connected with Marty when first we met sometime around 1996. He is a very funny man who lights up a room with his presence. When he is around, very few people can escape his outreaching personality.

Marty is a man with a theater and arts background who had responded to a call into ministry and serves as a pastor in Atlanta, Georgia. Marty is a man full of compassion and mercy and reaches out to the marginal people of our society.

His church is a melting pot of denominations and races who gather each week to discover who God is in a city still tainted with prejudice and racism.

It is a multi-cultural, living bridge connecting God, the world, and the various parts of the Body of Christ. Healing ministries, the arts, outreach to the city are just a few of the ways they spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a broken world; specifically, in DeKalb county Georgia where nations live, highways converge, and God invites all to His table.

Marty is a model of love to his world and in his home. And Pat grew up observing this love and he could write and sing about a “good, good father” because he knew both the love of an earthly and a heavenly father.

So, dads, what are your sons learning from you? Years after you are gone, what will be the habits and belief systems passed on to your sons? What will be the songs that they are singing that they will pass on their children?

The answer will be loosely based upon not how perfect you are or have been, but rather on who is influencing you. Do you know the love of this Heavenly Father? Has He left His mark on your life?

He is a Good, Good Father; it’s who He is. He is perfect in all His ways. And you are loved by Him

 “The return to the "Father from whom all fatherhood takes its name" allows me to let my dad be no less than the good, loving, but limited human being he is, and to let my heavenly Father be the God whose unlimited, unconditional love melts away all resentments and anger and makes me free to love beyond the need to please or find approval.” 

― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming

Eating Humble Pie

I was with Cathy at an Ethiopian wedding reception waiting for the bride and groom to arrive so that all of the guests could eat. The room was alive with excitement as the smell of food filled the air.  

 

At one point, I even got up to look at the feast that was being set out on the banquet tables. My mouth and my eyes were becoming moist with anticipation; which in laymen’s terms meant we were going to eat some really, really great Ethiopian food!

 

A few hours earlier in St. Paul, Minnesota, I had officiated the wedding ceremony for this couple who had both been born in Ethiopia and had moved to the United States of America at some point in their past.

 

The church had been packed with around three hundred or so family and friends who had come from all over the United States, Canada, and from Ethiopia for this joyful day.

 

The ceremony went off without a hitch and after it was over, the guests, along with Cathy and I, had driven to another church in Minneapolis to attend the reception while the wedding party took photographs.

 

And now, we sat at tables in the banquet hall, along with five hundred or so guests, waiting for the bride and groom to arrive so that all of the guests could eat. They had even set out a couple of forks and spoons for Cathy and me who were the only Caucasian people in the room; assuming that we might prefer to eat using the utensils instead of our hands!

 

We enjoyed our time waiting as we were brought up to speed on the history of Ethiopia by the four pastors who were sitting at our table (as much as you could get up to speed in an hour or so).

 

And then the joyous couple, along with the wedding party, arrived, which signaled that we could begin the pilgrimage to get our food as soon as the prayers were said for the meal.

 

I look up and saw that a man was walking towards me with a microphone saying something in Oromo. At the table, one of the pastors said that it was time for me to go up and bless the food; which is pretty common for me to do at wedding receptions.

 

I said something to the effect of perhaps one of them should pray in Oromo; at which point they asked for me to stand up because the man with the microphone was coming closer; and so I stood up and made my way towards him with the confidence of a track star awaiting the hand off of the baton. This was another opportunity for me to speak to the masses and get some more exposure! 

 

Just as I was about to take the microphone, another person (who was between myself and the man with the microphone) stood up and took the microphone and proceeded to pray in Oromo. He was an Orthodox Priest and had been asked by the mother of the bride to ask the blessing.

 

And now, there were only two people standing up; and only one of whom was supposed to be standing. And the other was me! I would like to say that I gracefully turned and sat down, but instead I knelt down by the nearest table and starting talking to a complete stranger asking her what was the priest speaking in Oromo was saying, hoping that she didn’t put two and two together.

 

I ended eating some ‘humble pie’; not one of the foods I had been looking forward to! I stood up and returned to my table; somewhat embarrassed.

 

The pastors at my table apologized to me realizing that they had helped put me in this predicament, saying once again that they had indeed thought that I was supposed to ask the blessing. But actually, it was I who had thought higher of myself than I ought to. It was my own pride and wrong self evaluation that had allowed me to be in that place.

 

Romans 12:3 (NKJV) says; “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.”

 

We are all looking (at times) to get ahead and to get noticed; to arrive at who we are supposed to be. And, at times, we can do things for the wrong reason or motivation. But that isn’t what we are supposed to do; we are called to be humble. Perhaps it will save us from eating humble pie.

 

1 Peter 5:6 (MSG) says; “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; He’ll promote you at the right time.”

 

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10

 

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6